The Lightning Strike: Part One. Written for QAF Big Bang.

[wouldbedorothy]

Title: The Lightning Strike
Author: wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Brian/Justin
Rating: R to nc-17 lite
Word Count: 3,555 for part one; 16,855 for entire fic
WARNING: Um, yeah. It's mpreg.
Summary: Set two years post-513, Justin is back in Pittsburgh with Brian, where he belongs. No sooner do they enter into the shocking world of monogamy than they find themselves in much more daunting and unfamiliar territory... Justin's pregnancy. It's a universe where pregnancy for men is neither unheard of nor common. How will B/J deal with the unexpected news and the changes it brings to their life together?
Disclaimer: Not my characters, except for one or two. And I rewrote the health & science books.

Titled after and contains some lyrics from the Snow Patrol song epic, "The Lightning Strike."

Gorgeous banner is by chosenfire28! Link to her art post: http://chosenfire28.livejournal.com/135518.html#cutid1

Written for QAF Big Bang: http://community.livejournal.com/qafbigbang/




The Lightning Strike
by AHS


Part One:
Now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't want to run
Just overwhelm me


“Mr. Taylor, it appears that you are pregnant.”

Brian wanted to laugh. Fuck, he wanted to laugh, because that was the funniest shit he’d ever heard in his life.

Except that it wasn’t, at all.

It wasn’t a joke. Somehow he knew it was real. It was a world gone mad, but he’d seen the stories on the news, starting a couple of years back. He’d even come across one or two of these guys in person… Half of a sickeningly glowing pair of Stepford fags once. Some sad, round-bellied hustler on his knees on Liberty, doing his damnedest to avoid early retirement. (Hell, there was probably a fetish market for that. Those “straight,” married businessmen were some twisted fucks.)

He hung up the phone. Justin had dropped it.

Justin, for his part, was having some kind of out-of-body experience. Or mental break, or something. He was trying to speak but no sound was coming out. And he couldn’t feel his legs. He felt like he was floating, looking down on a ridiculously bad TV-movie starring a guy who looked like him. Then the screen went dark and he fainted.

He came to a couple of minutes later, on the couch, Brian having caught him and carried him there. He opened his eyes to see genuine panic peeking out under arched eyebrow.

“Fuck. Is this a symptom? You gonna start puking on me next?”

“Brian…” Justin’s voice shook a little. “Do you think it’s true?”

Brian ran a hand through his own hair, feeling exhausted even though it was barely afternoon. It wasn’t until Justin’s hand lay on top of his other that they realized his fingers were lightly stroking Justin’s stomach through his shirt.

The fingers stilled.

Brian tried to feel something, sense something there, through his fingertips. But… he couldn’t even fathom it.

“We’re getting a second opinion.”

*****

Brian spent the next couple of hours searching the internet for doctors who were not completely incompetent in an area of specialization that was still… well, in its infancy, so to speak. Justin was sure they were going to end up hopping a plane to New York, or at least Philadelphia, before Brian found somebody he thought was good enough. But then, there was Dr. Charles Reynard, highly recommended and accredited and listed right in Pittsburgh.

Justin told Brian there was no way they would get in to see the doctor that day. Probably not for weeks, at the least. But Brian needed answers now. Needed to do something. So, he called Dr. Reynard’s office and yelled at the poor receptionist and demanded that his partner get seen right fucking away.

By his face, and the way he slammed the phone down, Justin guessed they’d offered him an appointment in about a month. But Brian, practically fuming, informed him that the earliest they could get him in was “eight o’clock tomorrow fucking morning.” Justin told him that was amazing, that he was amazing… and, reluctantly, that Brian needed to get to Kinnetik.

“Fuck… What are you gonna do?”

“Well… I don’t have to be at the gallery today.”

“You could see your mom, or Daphne.”

“Talk to them about this? No. No, I- I can’t be in a room with them and not tell them, but I don’t want to tell them or anybody until we know more… I kind of feel like I just want to crawl into bed and sleep all day.”

“Are you really that tired?”

“A little. Mostly, I just don’t want to have to think, I guess… You mind if I come with you? Maybe just nap on your sofa? Or do you- You probably want to get away from me for a while.”

Justin was really kind of floored by how well Brian was handling things so far. There was a big difference between agreeing to monogamy, which was already a huge deal, and the possibility of… of…

“Don’t be a twat. C’mon. We‘ll get you some food on the way.”

In the car…

“Fuck, is that what happened? I called you a twat too many times and you went and grew one?”

Justin didn’t much appreciate the humor, but he appreciated that almost nervous half-smile. Appreciated that Brian was trying, in his own way, to reassure him.

“Yes, Brian. You definitely did this to me.”

*****

The next morning

“It’s got to be a mistake, right?”

“Most babies are.”

“Brian, that‘s horrible and not what I meant.” Justin picked up an issue of Working Mother and put it back down without even seeing it. “Fuck, I’m nervous. This is just so weird.”

The waiting room was filled almost exclusively with pregnant women. Justin (and Brian, though he was faking cool) felt really out of place.

“You sure this is the right guy?” Justin whispered.

“He’s supposed to be specialized in both male and female obstetrics.”

Justin couldn’t quite interpret some of the looks they were getting from the female patients. He thought he saw flashes of everything from curiosity to disgust to anger to empathy. But mostly they kept their eyes down, their faces hidden in old magazines.

“I don’t see any other possibly preg-” Justin stopped. “I can’t say it yet.”

Brian shook his head. “Me either.”

“But, you know… other men in this situation.”

“What about that one?” Brian subtly nodded towards a guy on the other side of the room. Sitting alone and looking decidedly… freaked.

“Maybe his wife is having tests done and he’s worried.”

“No ring. And, watch this.”

Brian stared at the man until he looked up. Instantly, even from that distance, Justin could see the desire flare in the man’s eyes. Brian smiled proudly.

“See? Gay.” He scratched his ear and muttered, “Though, sure as hell wouldn’t be the first guy with a wife who-”

“Good God. Even with child and scared out of their minds, everybody wants to fuck you.”

“Want to go talk to him or something?”

“Not now! He’ll just think we’re hitting on him.”

“Justin Taylor?” A nurse peeked her head in. “Dr. Reynard will see you now.”

They were ushered into the doctor’s office, rather than an exam room. Justin was confused but relieved. They weren’t kept waiting as long as either expected, but if the doctor had squeezed them in, he probably needed to get the appointment going.

An African-American man in his early fifties, with a slight gray beard and an intelligent, round face, walked into the room. Closed the door behind him. Came up and shook both their hands, introducing himself before walking behind his desk.

Brian eyed the noticeable pudge under the man’s white lab coat.

“No, I’m not pregnant. Just have a weakness for lemon pound cake,” Dr. Reynard said, patting his tummy.

Justin put one hand over his eyes and used the other to blindly thwap Brian for being rude. Even Brian looked embarrassed, but the doctor just laughed, sat, and got down to business.

“Well, now that we’ve broken the ice…” He opened a chart. “Mr. Taylor, let‘s see… You‘re twenty-four…”

“Am I not having an exam today?”

“No, you will be. But I’ve found that having a talk with men such as yourself before the exam is often a good idea, for the same reason we make an effort to schedule men in so quickly. There are so many questions, and they can have a hard time comprehending what’s happening to them…”

“What the fuck is happening?” Brian somewhat barked. “Just tell us, with as little fanfare and bullshit as possible.”

“Justin is pregnant.”

Brian blinked. That was definitely low on fanfare. “So… it’s for sure?”

“The clinic sent us Justin’s test results. We’ll take another blood sample today, just to reassure you, but this is pretty definitive. You are pregnant.”

Brian’s hands grabbed his head like it hurt. “Could you please stop using that word?”

Justin wasn’t comfortable with the word, either, but Brian’s reaction bothered him possibly worse.

“I’ll try, Mr. Kinney,” Dr. Reynard said patiently. “Justin, how are you feeling? General health-wise?”

“Oh… Fine, I guess.”

“That’s good. What we’ll do today will be a fairly standard exam, just kind of checking on you. There’s not much we can do yet to check on the baby. It’s too early for an ultrasound.”

The baby. Fuck. They’d managed to not think in terms of those words yet. And now…

Brian thought of a question and quickly took the distraction. “Speaking of too early, the fucking condom only broke a few days ago. How the hell could they tell he‘s-… from a test a day later?”

“Conception occurs much faster in men than in women,” Justin mumbled.

“That’s correct,” Dr. Reynard confirmed, impressed. “In women, it can take a week or two to detect, mostly because the process of fertilization takes longer. With men, it seems to be pretty much like a lightning strike.”

Brian looked at Justin like he almost wanted to be mad. “I know you always know random facts and statistics and shit, but I did not realize you knew that kind of stuff about this.”

“Daph. Medical school. She did a big paper on this… growing phenomenon.”

“Now she can bring you in and get extra credit.”

“Shit, she’ll want to.”

“What happened in the fucking world, Doc? Is this where evolution’s gotten us?”

“Biology is changing, to a certain extent, every day. Boys and girls these days, for instance, are starting puberty earlier and earlier. Men developing the ability to conceive and carry a child is yet another change, granted, monumentally bigger than most.”

“But why?”

“No one can really say. Everyone has theories, of course. Some put it to environmental chemicals, steroids used in meat production…”

“Sunshine here eats a cheeseburger made from a cow with ‘roid rage and now he’s knocked up?”

“Brian.”

The doctor chuckled. “Not quite that simple. But, so far, it is only in developed nations that male pregnancy is occurring.”

Justin spoke up, a thoughtful look on his face. “I like to think this is all God fucking with the homophobes. Like, ‘They can procreate now. Suck on it.’”

Mixed feelings about everything that was going on aside, Brian’s face couldn’t help but break into a wide grin. He turned to look at Justin, and his hand reached over to grab pale fingers. “I might even have to believe in a God like that.”

*****

So, Dr. Reynard went over with them the Cliffs Notes of this strange new chapter of the big book of how babies are made, and it went something like this…

As of 2007, it was estimated that 20% of men were capable of conceiving. This was due to an extra internal organ they possessed, which actually started out about the size of a pea and expanded with adulthood. It was unclear when its existence began, but only in the last few years was it discovered to function as a womb. How sperm traveled from the rectum to this neighbor organ was explained as something like osmosis via a selectively permeable membrane. The sperm then actually fused with chromosomal material from inside the organ to become a fetus.

Ta-da.

Dr. Reynard told them, “Even now that we’ve - more or less - figured out the science of it, it should not work. This should not be medically possible. But it is. I’m still amazed by the miracle of a woman giving birth, even after all these years, but this? Men giving birth? This is a true fucking miracle.”

Brian’s estimation of the doctor went way up once he said “fucking.”

One in five men hypothetically *could* conceive, but obviously only gay men were going to. Though some fools claimed the overall gay population was only 4% of the total, taking the more realistic 10% statistic, that meant about 2% of men were in the running. Dividing that in half (the, uh, “bottom” half), and subtracting a bit more for age and other factors, that meant only about ¾ of one percent were actually getting pregnant.

Making it rare, yes, but that still added up to around 800,000 pregnant men in the U.S. alone.

There was no birth control pill yet that worked for men. No actual form of birth control other than condoms.

There was no such thing as natural childbirth for men. As Brian made sure to check, and the doctor confirmed, no one would be “crapping out a baby.” Caesarean was the only option. If it got to the end, the baby was ready to be born, and there wasn’t a hospital nearby… they would have to get to a hospital, fast. Natural childbirth equaled death, for the child, and often for the father.

At that point in their education, Brian squeezed Justin’s hand really, really hard.

Possibly the biggest surprise of the morning came when the doctor asked Brian if he would like to be tested for the genetic marker that indicated the capacity for pregnancy. Justin could tell Brian would rather go down on Mel than find out such a thing… but his partner nodded, yes.

*****

The drive back to the loft was mostly silent. But that allowed Brian to immediately notice the change in Justin’s breathing.

“You okay?”

Justin’s breaths were kind of wheezy and shallow. He was wringing his hands, painfully, repetitively, fingernails digging into skin. And his head turned slightly towards Brian when he heard his name, but his eyes wouldn’t make contact.

“Justin, breathe.”

Suddenly overly aware of the seat belt, it started to feel like it was choking him, and Justin pulled at it desperately.

“Fuck, hang on, I’m pulling over.”

Quickly onto the shoulder and thrown into park, Brian reached over and unbuckled Justin, careful not to touch him too much. He hadn’t had a panic attack for quite a while, but Brian still knew the drill.

Papers about what to eat while pregnant and an appointment reminder card spilled off Justin’s lap as he wriggled free and wrapped his arms around himself, face pained and eyes watery.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Brian tried to calm Justin with his voice. “Are you breathing? Let me see. Slow… deep breaths.”

He watched Justin’s arms release and his chest shudder and expand as he breathed in. He watched those lips he loved purse and slowly push out air, and when Justin was able to look him in the eye, he placed a small kiss on them.

“Good boy.”

“Brian, I’m sorry.”

Justin used to apologize for his attacks all the time, which was wrong, and bullshit, and Brian always told him so. But Brian got the feeling this was an even dumber, sadder apology. That he was apologizing for… being…

“Rest, okay?” he said, driving again. “We’re almost home.”

*****

Once they got back to the loft, Brian encouraged a physically and emotionally exhausted Justin to sleep. Which meant Brian had almost two silent hours alone with nothing but the very loud screaming in his head.

He refused to freak out. He couldn’t. He thought about Justin’s face in the car, Justin unable to breathe, and he knew he had to act like he had it together to keep him calm.

He paced. He practically did laps around the loft.

Pain management… well, it was calling to him, but not all his usual methods. Even if he hadn’t just promised monogamy, somehow going out and fucking (possibly fertile) men was not appealing at the moment. Alcohol sounded pretty damn good, but he managed to think better of it.

Weed. Fuck, he needed weed like never in his life.

He went to get the stash box. Relax.

*****

Didn’t work.

Pot never made Brian paranoid. But he lit up for barely five minutes and all he could see behind his closed eyes was the image of a fucking baby choking on smoke.

Justin woke up and found Brian standing on the sofa, gulping in big mouthfuls of air, trying to get rid of any and all leftover marijuana that might be floating. Once Justin figured out that’s what he was doing (and not having a heart attack), it was ridiculously adorable.

He got them a bottle of water out of the fridge to share and sat on the sofa.

“You feeling better?” Brian asked, sitting beside him, chagrined.

“Yeah, I am. How are you feeling?”

“I realized, I guess I shouldn’t smoke.” He gestured to his extinguished joint in the ashtray and was struck with a new thought. “Fuck, shouldn’t smoke anything anymore… ’cause it’s bad for the…”

The next word wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

Justin sighed. “We’ll worry about giving up our vices soon enough. Right now I think we need to learn how to say… ‘the baby.’”

Brian was silent.

“Or… Brian did you want to-… want me to get…? Look, I know this is something you didn’t expect and probably never wanted, and I know Dr. Reynard told us the options, and I’m not 100% sure how I feel about this yet, but… I do know there’s no way I could get rid of something that is you and me, so if you can’t-”

“The baby.”

Justin’s rambling little speech halted. He looked at Brian and Brian was looking right at him.

“Once we say it, it’s real. And I’m okay with that. Okay with… the baby.”

“You are?” Justin tried not to sound so doubting, but he couldn‘t help it. “You actually want it?”

“Nah, but I didn’t think I wanted you or Gus either, until I got you.”

Brian’s smile was teasing, still genuine. And it was enough to reassure Justin, make him smile, too. But it wasn‘t the complete truth.

“Okay, that’s bullshit. Justin, I do want it.”

“…You do?”

“Maybe it doesn’t make sense, ‘cause even now, I’m not sure anyone should have me as a father-”

“Brian.”

“And I’m definitely too old for this shit-”

“You’re only thirty-six, Murtaugh.”

“And I still can’t quite believe… everything. If I thought Ted had the balls, I’d almost think he’d arranged this to fucking punk me-”

“Arranged what??” Justin prepared to be very pissed off with his partner. “You think Ted poked a hole in the condom?!”

“No, twat. Listen. What I‘m trying to say is, knowing this news… I don’t want to smash my life. I don’t want to run away. I don’t want out of this. I’ve been happy and now I think I might be even happier. Which- fuck, that’s scary in itself…”

“I know.”

“But it might be nice… having a kid around. I think I want that.”

They both knew how much Brian missed Gus. Justin, more than anyone else, had been sure Mel and Linds would realize they belonged in Pittsburgh and move back within a year, like he had. But Gus had recently turned seven and was still living in Canada, away from his dad. It was wrong and Justin hated it.

Now, with Brian’s words, Justin finally let his mind imagine what this pregnancy could mean. Not the next nine months… he wasn’t ready to go there… but after that. He and Brian and a little boy or girl, with hazel eyes and maybe his blond hair… a family. And at last he knew how he felt about it all.

“I want it, too.”

Brian ran his hand over Justin’s bare arm, making him shiver… up to squeeze his shoulder… then slid fingers around the back of his neck, holding. Pulled him closer. Looked at him. Really looked into Justin’s eyes and was fucking thankful that he didn’t have to hold anything back when he did that anymore. Didn’t have to hide or diminish how much he loved the man. That they were so far past that.

He pressed his mouth against Justin’s, relaxed and soft… felt Justin’s lips pull him in… combining their warmth, and their tastes, into something so amazing, always so amazing… The two of them together…

Fuck. How amazing their kid was going to be.

“Brian?”

“Mm?”

“We’re officially breeders.”

Brian kept nuzzling Justin in a why aren’t we still kissing way, even after those words nearly gave him an early coronary. His smile got much too tight and much too wide, and he whispered, “Lucky for you you’re having my kid, ‘cause otherwise you’d be in trouble for that.”

“It‘s not luck. It‘s a true fucking miracle,” Justin grinned. “But, maybe give me some… trouble, anyway?”

Brian could most certainly do that, and he growled wickedly, though he could sense that what was about to take place would be one of those times more tender than wicked. He didn’t even mind.

They moved to the bed, and naked, kissing, it went from hot and tender to… stopped.

Putting the condom on Brian’s cock, Justin remembered what they’d decided, what Brian had declared. Soon they wouldn’t need these anymore.

Then he remembered the test results, and… the other test results. He remembered everything that had changed in just the few days since that declaration. And he realized.

“Brian… we’re never going to be able to fuck raw.”

I chase my blood from brain to thumped heart
Until I'm out of breath for trying


Part Two

Comments

[tsarcasm.livejournal.com]

“Fuck, is that what happened? I called you a twat too many times and you went and grew one?”
--Still makes me OMGSTUPID!HAPPY.

“I like to think this is all God fucking with the homophobes. Like, ‘They can procreate now. Suck on it.’”
--WORD!

Justin could tell Brian would rather go down on Mel than find out such a thing… but his partner nodded, yes.
--He he. Ew. Hahahaha.

Justin used to apologize for his attacks all the time, which was wrong, and bullshit, and Brian always told him so. But Brian got the feeling this was an even dumber, sadder apology. That he was apologizing for… being…
--Oh poor boys [hugs them].

“Or… Brian did you want to-… want me to get…? Look, I know this is something you didn’t expect and probably never wanted, and I know Dr. Reynard told us the options, and I’m not 100% sure how I feel about this yet, but… I do know there’s no way I could get rid of something that is you and me, so if you can’t-”

“The baby.”
--AHHH. Lurvs.

“But, maybe give me some… trouble, anyway?”
--Adorble.

“Brian… we’re never going to be able to fuck raw.”
--Well, its good thing Brian bought stock in that condom company!

[sexy-pumpkin.livejournal.com]

Why can;t they fuck raw?

Did I miss something!

I LMAO,,this is so good,,onto the next chpt,,later Jx

[wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com]

Lol, I love that your first reaction was "YAY they can fuck raw for nine months!" and then you were all put out at Justin saying they couldn't :-bbb

[redrose-7272.livejournal.com]

"Fuck. How amazing their kid was going to be."

Yup! Sooo true!

On to the next one!

[kiddoditto.livejournal.com]

this was great :-)

[bknjt.livejournal.com]

WOW....I have read many M-Preg fics...but... yours is the only one that attempted to explain how it is possible for men to be pregnant and the delivery process... the reason they can't fuck raw...is because Justin is fertile and would get pregnant again.. correct??... off to read the rest.......

[freakykat.livejournal.com]

Justin woke up and found Brian standing on the sofa, gulping in big mouthfuls of air, trying to get rid of any and all leftover marijuana that might be floating. Once Justin figured out that’s what he was doing (and not having a heart attack), it was ridiculously adorable.

Ahahahahahahaha! I actually laughed out loud for like five minutes straight. *snorts*

That was - ridonkulously adorable.

*points to the left*

Kristopher agrees.

[wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com]

Yay for ridonkulous, and yay Kris likes it, lol! :)

[linnyjune.livejournal.com]

Just found this story and am liking it a lot. Off to read more.

[mander3-swish.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Justin could tell Brian would rather go down on Mel than find out such a thing