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Title: Brian and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sandwich: a Gale/Randy Dialogue Drabble Mystery! ;)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PGish
Summary: 450 words (separated into 3 x100 word drabbles, and a 150 word one). Randy grilling Gale to explain the makings of a very odd sandwich in ep 202. Inspired by THIS POST and the tumblr link within. When it's set is... sometime between S2 and now. Absolutely silly and pointless. And it's not really a mystery, but I think Gale's answers were somewhat influenced by Clue's multiple endings, lol.
Disclaimer: My words, not theirs!

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] swallow79 for bringing this up and giving me rare inspiration! And the peeps at the FuckYeahQAF tumblr. Also, *waves at Red*. A nod to our conversation in there ;)

I love ridiculous and overly long titles sometimes, if you couldn't tell, lol. Title is, of course, owed to the children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.




Brian and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sandwich:
a Gale/Randy Dialogue Drabble Mystery!
by AHS


“It was a bet.”

“A bet?”

“Yeah, with Scotty. To see who could get away with the craziest shit in a scene. He was going to put a cucumber in his pants for when Ted was caught watching gay porn at work.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“He chickened out, the fucker. That would have been funny as hell.”

“So, you won for making an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich?”

“Yep.”

“Uh huh. What did you win?”

“Win? Oh, right. Fifty. And drinks at the bar.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What? I’m hurt that-- Okay, what really happened was…”

*~*~*

“It was an acting choice.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’m insulted by the skeptical tone.”

“You know I think you’re brilliant, and I’ve reaped the benefits of some of your Method ways, but…”

“What?”

“WHY would you make an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich as an acting choice?”

“To show how fucked up Brian was. Without Justin. How fucking thrown he was with Justin’s mother there offering him, making Brian feel shit, giving him hope he was scared to have.”

Awww… Yeah, right. Like that’s going to work on me.”

“You non-believing little asshat.”

“Love you, too. Next?”

“Fine. See…”

*~*~*

“It’s a well-known hangover cure.”

“I thought that was blow jobs.”

“Different one.”

“Well-known? So, if I looked it up online…”

“Maybe not ‘WELL.’ But it’s a thing. Southern thing. You mean you never tried it?”

“How exactly is an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich supposed to make anyone feel better?”

“Why do you keep repeating the ingredients?”

“Because they sound more insane every time.”

“Tabasco’s great for a hangover.”

“And the rest?”

“Keep the bread from turning pink? And I guess if you eat it and manage not to be sick, you know you’re okay.”

“Last chance.”

*~*~*

(mumbling)

“Sorry, what?”

“I JUST GRABBED SHIT.”

“And you grabbed that particular disgusting combination of items because…?”

“John told me to walk around the kitchen, grab food. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just trying to remember my lines.”

“I’ve told you, you’re going to burn out your short-term memory.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was fine. John didn’t notice, or else just wanted to get through the day.”

“Sherry noticed. Thought it was hilarious.”

“No one else.”

“You underestimate the fans and their level of nothing better to do obsession. Their crazy eagle eyes, their freeze frame, and their imaginations. I bet they decided Brian was pregnant.”

“That is not in my contract. But I would so do it.”

“I know you would.”

“I never actually ate that sandwich.”

“I know.”

“…Rand?”

“Yes, Gale?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Of course you are.”

“I kind of want…”

“Ahead of you. Check the fridge.”

Date: 2012-06-23 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
;) Thanks for reading!

Date: 2012-06-16 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pfodge.livejournal.com
Lol...OMG!

Date: 2012-06-23 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
:) Thanks for reading!
(lol, I love your icon so)

Date: 2012-06-16 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pen-traveler.livejournal.com
This fic is hilarious! I'd never noticed that about that scene, so I checked the fuckyeahqaf post and I was literally doubled over with laughter. OMG, so funny.

“Well-known? So, if I looked it up online…”

“Maybe not ‘WELL.’ But it’s a thing. Southern thing. You mean you never tried it?”


<3

Date: 2012-06-23 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Hey you! :) Lol, yeah, I certainly never noticed it either. Oh Gale, the goodies you provide us with!

Thanks!

Date: 2012-06-16 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonbrightnites.livejournal.com
OMG.
I ♥ you times infinity for this!!

“It was an acting choice.”
*giggles*

“I JUST GRABBED SHIT.”
*HOWLS*

You totally made my day. :)

Date: 2012-06-23 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Thanks! :) It's not much, but every tiny bit of G/R I come up with gives hope that I'm not completely done with them.

Date: 2012-06-16 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheburashka-2.livejournal.com
This was fantastic! We need more WTF sandwich stories. Challenge anyone?

Date: 2012-06-23 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Thanks! :)

LOL! You get any takers?

Date: 2012-06-23 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheburashka-2.livejournal.com
Unfortunately not. I tried to write one myself, but after actually making this "Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sandwich" and actually taking a bite, I just couldn't write about it. LOL!

Oh, well...

Date: 2012-06-23 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Oh bless your heart, lol!

Yeah. I'm sure once you taste that, it's not funny anymore. :x

Date: 2012-06-23 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheburashka-2.livejournal.com
Yeah, it was something else... You are more then welcome to read about my adventure on my page. It's a culinary education like no other! LOL!

Date: 2012-06-16 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duffy-60.livejournal.com
*giggle/snort*

absofuckinglutely priceless!!!

Date: 2012-06-23 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Gigglesnorts are one of my favorite things to inspire! :) Thanks!

Date: 2012-06-16 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snapegirlusa.livejournal.com
You are so brilliant! And omniscient. When I saw that tumblr yesterday, I was craving a fic about the scene (just like Brian was craving that disgusting sandwich) and you certainly delivered.

I love honking about Gale coming up with believable and admirable reasons for that mess. But Randy not letting him get away with it. LOL

And I love how even though this is focused on something crazy Gale did, you still managed to slip in a little RPS love with this line:
"I've reaped the benefits of some of your Method ways..." LOL

Makes me want to go back and read all your RPS stories that I love so much. :)

Date: 2012-06-23 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
HAI, HAI!!!!!

And I love how even though this is focused on something crazy Gale did, you still managed to slip in a little RPS love with this line:
"I've reaped the benefits of some of your Method ways..." LOL


I wasn't sure everyone would even catch that! But it figures you would! :)

Thanks!!

Date: 2012-06-16 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sungaizing85.livejournal.com
HE WAS PREGNANT! DEFFO. LOL

Loved it!!!

Hugs,
Lee

Date: 2012-06-16 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swallow79.livejournal.com
Amazeballs!!! Thanks! Super fun.

Date: 2012-06-23 03:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
Thank you, sungaizing and swallow! :) Especially for the inspiration!

Date: 2012-06-17 03:50 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-06-17 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girloftheburbs.livejournal.com
LOL!! Loved your drabbles!! I hope someday someone will ask one of the cast or crew about this scene. I just figured it was Brian trying to keep his hands busy while he was freaking out (inside) about Justin's mother showing up at his door, when he was naked as a jaybird, and being messed up about Justin. I never saw the Tabasco sauce or tuna fish, though! LOL This means I'll have to rewatch that scene. Oh darn! ;)

Date: 2012-06-23 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
I just figured it was Brian trying to keep his hands busy while he was freaking out (inside) about Justin's mother showing up at his door, when he was naked as a jaybird, and being messed up about Justin.

I completely agree!!!

Thanks! :)

Date: 2013-08-17 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] freckled-bunny.livejournal.com
hee...the adorable dork that Gale seems to be in real life, I bet he would eat that sandwich too. loved the banter :)

Date: 2013-08-19 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com
I identify with dork!Gale :) Don't think I could eat that, though, lol. Thanks!

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