Randy nodded slightly, but he looked away and started playing with the pull-tab on his beer. “Simon takes good care of me.” HA!, I BET HE WISH HE DID! :-P.
“It’s like nothing’s changed.” I heard the bitterness in my own voice, and I know he did, too... *my poor heart breaks for Gale, really*
His hand brushed my knee, and suddenly I didn’t need the heater anymore. That hug inside had been so unexpected, and through layers of coats, but this slightest touch made me realize how starved my body had been for contact with his all these years. Of course, he was just reaching under my seat to move it back so I would have more room. I mumbled my thanks, and then we just looked at each other. OH MY FUCKING GOD.... I have this thing with you... it’s like when I am reading you, I feel like a bad little intruder who is actually seeing something so private, so sacred for both of them that I feel ashamed of myself for just being there... watching but at the same time, I couldn’t tear my eyes off of them... and IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU! ALWAYS... EVERY TIME! Fuck... your literary images are alive, love... so much alive that it’s always scary... FUCK!
I reached a hand to his face, holding it carefully, studying. SEE???? SEE WHAT I MEAN?????? *Speachless*
“I knew I was remembering right. Your eyes. Knew I wasn’t making up all those colors.” HAHAHA... I KNEW THERE WERE EYES SOMEPLACE! HAHAHAHA
I pulled the hat from his head and stroked the dark blond silk of his hair into place. “The years have been a friend to you, my friend.” You know how I feel about Gale loving the kid more than the kid loving your brother... and you prove me right every time... and it feels good to know you feel the same way :-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P.
He was and is, despite years of indignance at the fact, too fucking cute for words. *sighs* *double sighs* yeah, he is... he fucking is but you, my friend, would love him even if he wasn’t.
Then he carded a hand through my hair, leaning close, apparently checking for grays. It took him a while, but…
“One!… Hmm, that’s all I-… Wait, two!” There you go... that feeling again...AWWWWWWWWWWW
I mean, our ‘always’ was a long time ago…” AND AGAIN.... *another piece of heart down the crapper :-P*
“Not signed. Thanks.” He almost didn’t say more, but then he whispered, “I miss you, too.”
At his reference to the words I’d written in his present, I swallowed hard, only able to say, “Did you like it?” YAY FOR ME!!!!! I FOUND THEM (WELL, PART OF THEM… and MY GOD, WHAT WORDS!!!!! Shit, you are so brilliant, do you know it??????
“I’m not you, Randy. It’s cradle to the grave with you. You eat, sleep, breathe it. Me… I wasn’t an actor longer than I was one. Now I’m not again.” OH YEAH… Gale KNOWS his “kid” and loves him for it .
"Maybe it’s fluid, like your sexuality." ... AND THE KID KNOWS YOUR BROTHER…. FUCK…. WHAT A GOOD WAY TO DEFINE … YOUR BROTHER! He is just fluid
“It just makes me sad to think you’ve let that part of yourself… die.”
“I guess without you, it just wasn’t the same.”
That didn’t bring his smile back. “You’re blaming me?”
I sighed. “No. I’m just saying… nothing was the same without you.”
“Oh.”
... It was like the last several years didn’t even make sense to me anymore because he hadn’t been in them. Like I hadn’t quite been aware of how big the hole in my life was until he was there beside me and I could hear his echo. *tears, tears and more tears* … my love, where do you find these things????? I know it’s inside of you but… nevertheless, I have to tell you… I love you so so much for making me feel THIS! WOW… THIS IS SO DEEP!
no subject
Randy nodded slightly, but he looked away and started playing with the pull-tab on his beer. “Simon takes good care of me.” HA!, I BET HE WISH HE DID! :-P.
“It’s like nothing’s changed.” I heard the bitterness in my own voice, and I know he did, too... *my poor heart breaks for Gale, really*
His hand brushed my knee, and suddenly I didn’t need the heater anymore. That hug inside had been so unexpected, and through layers of coats, but this slightest touch made me realize how starved my body had been for contact with his all these years. Of course, he was just reaching under my seat to move it back so I would have more room. I mumbled my thanks, and then we just looked at each other. OH MY FUCKING GOD.... I have this thing with you... it’s like when I am reading you, I feel like a bad little intruder who is actually seeing something so private, so sacred for both of them that I feel ashamed of myself for just being there... watching but at the same time, I couldn’t tear my eyes off of them... and IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH YOU! ALWAYS... EVERY TIME! Fuck... your literary images are alive, love... so much alive that it’s always scary... FUCK!
I reached a hand to his face, holding it carefully, studying. SEE???? SEE WHAT I MEAN?????? *Speachless*
“I knew I was remembering right. Your eyes. Knew I wasn’t making up all those colors.” HAHAHA... I KNEW THERE WERE EYES SOMEPLACE! HAHAHAHA
I pulled the hat from his head and stroked the dark blond silk of his hair into place. “The years have been a friend to you, my friend.” You know how I feel about Gale loving the kid more than the kid loving your brother... and you prove me right every time... and it feels good to know you feel the same way :-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P.
He was and is, despite years of indignance at the fact, too fucking cute for words. *sighs* *double sighs* yeah, he is... he fucking is but you, my friend, would love him even if he wasn’t.
Then he carded a hand through my hair, leaning close, apparently checking for grays. It took him a while, but…
“One!… Hmm, that’s all I-… Wait, two!” There you go... that feeling again...AWWWWWWWWWWW
I mean, our ‘always’ was a long time ago…” AND AGAIN.... *another piece of heart down the crapper :-P*
“Not signed. Thanks.” He almost didn’t say more, but then he whispered, “I miss you, too.”
At his reference to the words I’d written in his present, I swallowed hard, only able to say, “Did you like it?” YAY FOR ME!!!!! I FOUND THEM (WELL, PART OF THEM… and MY GOD, WHAT WORDS!!!!! Shit, you are so brilliant, do you know it??????
“I’m not you, Randy. It’s cradle to the grave with you. You eat, sleep, breathe it. Me… I wasn’t an actor longer than I was one. Now I’m not again.” OH YEAH… Gale KNOWS his “kid” and loves him for it .
"Maybe it’s fluid, like your sexuality." ... AND THE KID KNOWS YOUR BROTHER…. FUCK…. WHAT A GOOD WAY TO DEFINE … YOUR BROTHER! He is just fluid
“It just makes me sad to think you’ve let that part of yourself… die.”
“I guess without you, it just wasn’t the same.”
That didn’t bring his smile back. “You’re blaming me?”
I sighed. “No. I’m just saying… nothing was the same without you.”
“Oh.”
... It was like the last several years didn’t even make sense to me anymore because he hadn’t been in them. Like I hadn’t quite been aware of how big the hole in my life was until he was there beside me and I could hear his echo. *tears, tears and more tears* … my love, where do you find these things????? I know it’s inside of you but… nevertheless, I have to tell you… I love you so so much for making me feel THIS! WOW… THIS IS SO DEEP!