... and just sharing space again wasn’t enough to erase all that time and reach beyond it. It was closing in. See? Gale struggling again and my heart shrinking a little bit more…
“Auld Lang Syne.”
“What?”
“The song,” he said, sounding suddenly melancholy. “‘Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind.’ That’s us.” And now Randy’s suffering… for once! I know I’m a little too cruel for your taste … I KNOW! But… YOU KNOW!... AND WE KNOW :-P. That’s us sorry, love… but horrible, horrible truth it is!
“You honestly think I forgot about you, for even a day?” He couldn’t think that. He fucking knew I…
“Do you think I forgot about you?”
……No. “Well, you recognized me, so I guess not completely.”
“Gale, you don’t go through what we did… you don’t find what we found… and forget.”
It shouldn’t have made me happy to realize he was as fucked up as I was, but it did. “You wanted to try.”
“No, I…” He struggled for the right words. “I couldn’t imagine… I couldn’t fathom how hard it was going to be. How different it was going to be. Show over, living so far apart. New chapters were starting in our lives.”
“You had Simon.”
“And you always had… someone. I thought it was how things needed to be. You said you agreed.” 8 “Yeah, I did,” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND FUCKING FUCK! And there you go again and again and again… this part is so powerful, so intense… and so intimate at the same time. So much is said, so much is not… and they know it’s still there… but for some reason, it’s not… they know is nobody’s fault but still they look for the guilty one… and it is so sad that they should find themselves in this mess… fuck, love… did I ever tell you that YOU ARE A WONDER?
He sighed. “I guess I can still hardly believe it… that you’re here with me right now. I’ll tell him as soon as I see-…” can see this… oh, how I can see this….!
My beer was empty, and I’d run out of ways not to ask the question we were left with.Now what? This gave me a strange sense of emptiness… no hope at all for either of them… and I don’t know why, love…
I’d made a move to open my door, and he’d reached around me, gripping my far shoulder to physically keep me there. Then his head dipped a little, forehead resting against my other shoulder, just inside my open coat. My hand came to the back of his neck and just held.
“Randy.”
He made a slight unhappy noise, low in his throat, when I said his name. Even out of practice as I was with his sounds, I correctly interpreted the complaint.
“Rand,” I amended, and his left hand tapped happily on my chest, finding my heartbeat through a couple layers of shirt and sweater. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I can’t talk… if I talk, they would discover I’m here… because I’m spying on them…. I feel almost “dirty”… and, of course, the “Rand”, made me warm and cold and fuzzy and downy and happy and sad and Gale wanting more and Randy giving less and fighting with themselves and hiding and… shit, why they can’t find a way???? :-S.
no subject
“Auld Lang Syne.”
“What?”
“The song,” he said, sounding suddenly melancholy. “‘Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind.’ That’s us.” And now Randy’s suffering… for once! I know I’m a little too cruel for your taste … I KNOW! But… YOU KNOW!... AND WE KNOW :-P. That’s us sorry, love… but horrible, horrible truth it is!
“You honestly think I forgot about you, for even a day?” He couldn’t think that. He fucking knew I…
“Do you think I forgot about you?”
……No. “Well, you recognized me, so I guess not completely.”
“Gale, you don’t go through what we did… you don’t find what we found… and forget.”
It shouldn’t have made me happy to realize he was as fucked up as I was, but it did. “You wanted to try.”
“No, I…” He struggled for the right words. “I couldn’t imagine… I couldn’t fathom how hard it was going to be. How different it was going to be. Show over, living so far apart. New chapters were starting in our lives.”
“You had Simon.”
“And you always had… someone. I thought it was how things needed to be. You said you agreed.”
8
“Yeah, I did,” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND FUCKING FUCK! And there you go again and again and again… this part is so powerful, so intense… and so intimate at the same time. So much is said, so much is not… and they know it’s still there… but for some reason, it’s not… they know is nobody’s fault but still they look for the guilty one… and it is so sad that they should find themselves in this mess… fuck, love… did I ever tell you that YOU ARE A WONDER?
He sighed. “I guess I can still hardly believe it… that you’re here with me right now. I’ll tell him as soon as I see-…” can see this… oh, how I can see this….!
My beer was empty, and I’d run out of ways not to ask the question we were left with.Now what? This gave me a strange sense of emptiness… no hope at all for either of them… and I don’t know why, love…
I’d made a move to open my door, and he’d reached around me, gripping my far shoulder to physically keep me there. Then his head dipped a little, forehead resting against my other shoulder, just inside my open coat. My hand came to the back of his neck and just held.
“Randy.”
He made a slight unhappy noise, low in his throat, when I said his name. Even out of practice as I was with his sounds, I correctly interpreted the complaint.
“Rand,” I amended, and his left hand tapped happily on my chest, finding my heartbeat through a couple layers of shirt and sweater. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I can’t talk… if I talk, they would discover I’m here… because I’m spying on them…. I feel almost “dirty”… and, of course, the “Rand”, made me warm and cold and fuzzy and downy and happy and sad and Gale wanting more and Randy giving less and fighting with themselves and hiding and… shit, why they can’t find a way???? :-S.