hiding in plain sight, gale/randy ficlet

[wouldbedorothy]

Title: Hiding In Plain Sight
Author: AHS
Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PGish
Summary: Immediately after the Larry King "ILY" incident.  1250 words.
Disclaimer: Not based on any reality... except for the part we've all seen the clip of, lol.
Author's note: Written for "disguise" challenge at  boys4all.  Thanks, RR, for the bunny, and Marina for preview :)

Hiding in Plain Sight
by AHS
 

“I hate that fucking interview. It’s over and I still hate it. I hate Larry King and his stupid suspenders and his even stupider questions!”

“Rand…”

“Immoral or harmless? We’re either immoral or harmless! Those are the only choices! I think I’d rather be immoral. ‘Harmless’ implies we’re not even worth thinking about, that we have no impact!”

“Rand…”

“The man is a fossil. Like he’s ever seen an episode! Let’s just distract from the fact that he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about by nosing into people’s personal…”

“Randy!”

“…Yes, Gale?”

“Are you gonna talk to me?”

“I am… aren’t I? I mean-… what? About what?”

“About your little… ad-lib in there.”

“Oh… that.”

***

I think everyone in the cast expected me to crush on Gale as soon as they saw him. It’s understandable, even if it is annoying. He is beyond crush-worthy.

Then when they saw us… how hot we are together, because we are… they were convinced. None of them ever thought the same of him, of course… that he would have those sort of feelings about me… which really isn’t fair. But I was the young one, the baby-faced one, and the gay one. Fair or not, and despite how much I hate fulfilling people’s presumptions about me, it seemed they were right.

It wasn’t first sight or first “kiss.” It wasn’t even first nakedness, filming that first love scene. I mean, lust probably kicked in the first time we were in the same room, but… falling was something else.

We were just a few weeks into filming. We’d finished for the day and were walking out together. I was in front, so I held the door open for him, and he poked my stomach with tickling fingers on his way through. That gave me a little flutter. But then in the parking lot, he noticed that one of my shoes had come untied. I was carrying my knapsack, my script binder, and a bottle of water, so before I could even try, Gale had dropped to his knees in front of me… *cough*… and tied my shoe. Commented on my socks, which were blue that day, and lightly touched my ankle. Tugged on my free hand to pull him up. Shot me the most adorable smile.

That’s when I fell.

And I had to be careful. I’m a total professional, but we were already becoming really close friends, which meant more opportunities to fall even harder. More chances for him to see right through me and not like what he saw.

One day, I kissed him on the cheek goodbye. I’d done it more than once before, and it wouldn’t have been any kind of big deal, except for how I guess I lingered a little too long this time… and the awkward way I pulled back… and the crimson flush I could feel on my cheeks. Watching his expression as he walked away, I realized I had just made my feelings so obvious, I might as well have been wearing a sandwich board that said, “I Heart Gale Harold.”

And I knew distancing myself from him, if I even could, was not the answer. That would just be going from obvious to painfully glaring. I had to be entirely comfortable with him. More demonstrative than ever, but completely casual about it. Disguise my feelings by hiding in plain sight.

The next time I saw him, I gave him a big kiss on the lips hello and ruffled his hair, cool grin on my face. He looked a little stunned, then relieved, squeezed my shoulder, and I knew it had worked. Right before our next sex scene, I smacked his ass and said, “Let’s go!” (Or was it, “Let’s go, cowboy”?)

Gale was naturally pretty tactile himself… a fact that made things both easier and, yes, harder. When he would, say, pull me onto his lap, it was the sweetest kind of torture. (Still is.) But I tried to listen to the voice telling me to just enjoy it, even if it could never go anywhere. And it worked, mostly, for two years.

Maybe something was bound to happen. Some bit of cover was bound to come loose. I just didn’t expect it to be in front of the world.

What better way to convince Gale I wasn’t secretly in love with him than to tell him I love him, live on national television?

***

“Yeah, that. What the fuck, Rand? Did you forget you had a microphone on?”

“I don’t know. I was just so… proud of you in that moment. Your total lack of hesitation and lack of bullshit in the face of some really bullshit questions.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup. I guess those words just slipped out.”

“Oh…… You know, the fangirls… you just made their lives with that.”

“Hey, you get to take some of the credit… blame for that, too.”

“How-”

“‘I can’t repeat it’? Is there anything you could have said that would have made imaginations run wild more?”

“What the fuck did you want me to say?”

“I-…I don’t know… Nothing.”

“I mean, I didn’t have an answer except the truth, and I was not gonna say that to Larry King.”

“You’re right, Gale. I’m sorry, okay? Can we just try to forget about it?”

“Relax, Rand. I’m not mad… Put the face away. I’m not.”

“You’re not.”

“No… It was actually pretty funny.”

“…Yeah, it was. The look on your face…”

“I’m sure. C’mon, chuckles. You’ve earned yourself a hot dog from a cart.”

“Big spender.”

“Anything for you. You know I love you, too.”

“Yeah, I know.”

***

I’ve kicked myself a thousand times over my less than stellar response on that show, but considering the words I’d just heard whispered from Randy’s lips… unscripted, no matter the context… I’m surprised I held it together as well as I did.

Held… He held a door open for me. I don’t know why it charmed me like it did. Maybe it was the little bow he threw in. And then he was juggling all his shit, shoelaces dragging on the ground, and he just looked so fucking cute. I dropped to my knees way too fast, head too full of the weeks of kissing and touching him. But I was a good boy and tied his shoe. Ignored my dick when he took my hand, and just smiled as I fucking fell.

He’s so professional, I knew… well, I told myself he wouldn’t go for it. Maybe I was just afraid he wouldn’t take me seriously. Or maybe I was afraid he wouldn’t want me. Why would he want to waste his time with a fucking confused mess, like I was? (am?) Besides, any time there was a moment that felt like almost… he was the one to break it.

He’s my friend. Closer than most, but friend. And that’s why he can climb in my lap, or even kiss me, and not think twice about it. And it’s why he could say those three little words to me with the whole world listening. Because he means them, but he doesn’t mean them too much.

He doesn’t mean them like I do.

But all I know to do is to say them back playfully, like he did. All I know to do is what I’ve been doing for the past two years… disguising my feelings by hiding in plain sight.