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wouldbedorothyTitle: Five Variations of Memory
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PGish
Summary: Brief takes on five ways Gale's memory could have been affected by the accident. Drabbles ranging from 100-500 words, 1500 total. Hopefully my last accident!fic, lol. How little I go into some of these scenarios is, I'm sure, my own cowardice :)
Disclaimer: I made this up.
Five Variations of Memory
by AHS
#1 (300 words)
Randy was warned what to expect before going into Gale’s hospital room. But it still threw him when Gale forgot things he’d said to him only minutes before.
“Where are you staying? I mean… are you staying?”
“Don’t you remem-? Shit, sorry… Yeah, a couple of days. I’m staying with Peter.”
Something similar happened three more times during the relatively short visit. The accident had fucked with the part of Gale’s brain in charge of short-term memory. The outcome could have been much worse, but it was extremely frustrating, especially for the patient.
“Fuck! Rand… I keep making you repeat yourself, don’t I?”
“It’s okay.”
“I hate this. I can’t hold any information. It keeps falling out the fucking hole in my head!”
Randy shivered uncomfortably at the choice of words. Tried not to stare at the bandages.
“It’s like I’m a pregnant woman or something.”
Anyone else would have said “senile old man.” (Or “stoner,” which... well... duh.) But no. Gale was a pregnant woman. Randy laughed.
“I’m really gonna suck for memorizing lines now. They’ll have to make me cue cards, or… maybe I can hide little cheat sheets down Teri’s dress.”
Randy laughed harder.
“What if I can’t do it anymore?”
Randy stopped laughing. “What? The show?”
“Act. Anything.”
“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk, mister. It’ll get better. I think it’s just… like exercising a particular muscle, building up the strength. You’ll get there.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Ditto.”
“…What if I forget you were here after you leave?”
That thought made Randy’s chest hurt, but he didn’t let it show on his face.
“I’m coming back. I’ll remind you. Until then…”
He took Gale’s hand, wrote “Randy was here” in ballpoint, kissed the palm.
“A little helpful vandalism.”
Gale laughed. Sweet sound.
***
#2 (500 words)
Peter called to tell Randy that the surgery went well, but there did appear to be some brain damage… in the form of amnesia.
That word nearly sent Randy off the deep end.
“Not total amnesia. He remembers us!” Peter tried to say brightly. “But…”
“But what? What’s wrong?”
“…Best the doctors can tell, he’s lost several years. He thinks we’re still doing the show.”
Out of concern that seeing his friends and castmates… older, different… would confuse Gale, they were asked to stay away at first. Randy canceled his flight and chomped at the bit.
Five days later, the green light was given, and Randy didn’t question. Just booked a new flight.
Randy was heading towards Gale’s room when he realized he probably should have talked to a doctor, gotten a proper briefing. He’d done his best to look as close to what Gale would remember as possible, which had meant shaving. For that moment, he hoped he still looked as young as everyone always said. But…
He didn’t know if Gale’s memory of what year it was had been corrected. Since his visit was now okay, he supposed so… He didn’t even know if Gale thought he was in LA or Toronto!
And he didn’t know specifically at what point in the QAF era Gale’s head was. But somehow, just by those hazel eyes when he walked in, he did.
Late season one. Pre-Simon. Pre- a lot of things. But right in the middle of that closeness that developed so fast. That easy intensity. Friendship that kept on even after they stopped fighting the attraction. Before they knew what any other kind of fighting was.
Gale beckoned Randy to him for a kiss, but his face quickly darkened, remembering newly acquired reality. “Sorry. Do we not do that anymore?”
Randy leaned in. Kissed his lips softly. “Seems we do. How’re you feeling?”
“My head hurts,” Gale deadpanned, managing a small chuckle. “And I’m old. About seven years older than I thought. Sucks.”
“At least you didn’t miss the big 4-0. Still have that to look forward to.” Randy’s smile wavered under the weight of Gale’s stare. “What?”
“You look… I don’t want to say you look like a man, ‘cause you always were, but… fuck. You look great, Rand.”
Randy did not blush. He was thirty years old. He didn’t do that anymore. “You should have seen me with my beard.”
Gale’s eyes widened, picturing it. And they laughed, and Randy told stories as Gale requested, filling in pieces of his missing years.
“You keep asking about me. Maybe they’ve already told you everything, but don’t you want to know about your own life?”
Gale pulled his lip into his mouth, and Randy was glad that hadn’t been forgotten.
“Are they ever the same?”
“Same?”
“Your life and my life. You’re in New York, right? I’m in LA? Do we… still…?” Words fell short.
Randy swallowed emotion. “Not enough. But we’re still us, Gale… That never goes away.”
***
#3 (400 words)
Randy had known Gale would be okay, meaning that he was strong and would survive. But he’d also somehow known that Gale’s memory would pay a price. Had nightmares of Gale looking at him blankly, having forgotten him completely.
That didn’t happen. But Gale’s memory was affected, in a way Randy never could have imagined.
It collided with that of Brian Kinney.
Gale didn’t think he was Brian. He knew who he was, for the most part. That his name was Gale Harold. That he was from Georgia. An actor.
But… Gale’s a pretty Method actor. He really gets into characters’ heads, and probably none more so than the one he played the longest. So his head was filled with quite a few Brian memories, and the accident knocked them out of their Brian pile and mixed them up with his own.
Which led to some confusion.
The injuries he’d sustained, Gale could deal with. He was just so relieved to find out that both his balls were real. He had been fairly certain he’d had cancer.
All the images in his mind of himself with naked men confused him… not so much because they were men, but because he hadn’t thought he was that big of a slut.
And one image kept repeating. One face, one body.
He had doctors coming at him with flash cards. Names, pictures, to help him sort out what was real and what had been a TV show. When he was shown familiar blue eyes, there was no impulse to say, “Justin.” He knew. Randy. His Rand.
That was his costar. They worked very closely together. And that would explain why the image constantly in his mind was of kissing that face, being wrapped around that body.
But it brought feelings with it that went beyond Method. He wasn’t sure what was what… until Randy showed up.
“They said you’re borrowing memories from Brian. Gale… you can do better.”
Gale smiled tiredly. “I’m getting less mixed up. They told me… it was just a show.”
Cute nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“…I remember things… you and me, together… and sometimes it almost seems like it was real… I don’t see cameras or lights or other people… and I feel like me, and I feel…” He stopped. “Never mind. I just thought some wrong things, but-”
Warm fingers closed around his. “You were right.”
***
#4 (200 words)
“Nothing?… He-?… Okay, um, thanks for telling me… Let me- know- if it changes.”
Good news… Gale survived. He’s going to be okay. Bad news… He remembers nothing. When he woke up, he didn’t even know his own name.
Randy wondered how awful a person it made him that it didn’t make him feel as sad as Gale not remembering his name.
Forgotten. He didn’t exist to Gale anymore. And he couldn’t even try to change that. The doctors were afraid of overloading the man with no memory, so friends and coworkers had been collectively warned away. Even once visitors were allowed, Randy didn’t know where or if he would rank.
It was over a month later, and Gale was out of the hospital when he saw him. It was awkward… polite, and then…
“So… I’m kind of famous but not really, huh. That’s fucking weird.”
Randy burst into tears. He hadn’t realized how afraid he’d been that Gale would be gone. But he was still there. It healed and hurt.
“Fuck. You okay?”
“Will be.”
Memories to invoke, words to say… KISS HIM!… screamed through Randy’s head. He just smiled.
“We’re really good friends, right?”
“We’re the best, Gale.”
***
#5 (100 words)
“Rand, enough with the quiz.”
Gale had been giving answers to everything from “Who was your tenth grade math teacher?” to “What did we do in the wardrobe room that time?” His memory survived the accident 100% intact, but Randy kept checking.
“Bradley Gunter.”
“Why do you remember that?” Gale laughed, sighed. “Grade school classmate, nicknamed me ‘Weird Harold.’ But I found it cool, ‘cause how often does a skinny white kid get named after a Fat Albert character. Done yet?”
“I suppose.”
“I’m okay.”
“I know.”
“You sure?”
“If you hadn’t-”
“Shh, I do.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you forget it.”
Author:
wouldbedorothy (AHS)Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PGish
Summary: Brief takes on five ways Gale's memory could have been affected by the accident. Drabbles ranging from 100-500 words, 1500 total. Hopefully my last accident!fic, lol. How little I go into some of these scenarios is, I'm sure, my own cowardice :)
Disclaimer: I made this up.
Five Variations of Memory
by AHS
#1 (300 words)
Randy was warned what to expect before going into Gale’s hospital room. But it still threw him when Gale forgot things he’d said to him only minutes before.
“Where are you staying? I mean… are you staying?”
“Don’t you remem-? Shit, sorry… Yeah, a couple of days. I’m staying with Peter.”
Something similar happened three more times during the relatively short visit. The accident had fucked with the part of Gale’s brain in charge of short-term memory. The outcome could have been much worse, but it was extremely frustrating, especially for the patient.
“Fuck! Rand… I keep making you repeat yourself, don’t I?”
“It’s okay.”
“I hate this. I can’t hold any information. It keeps falling out the fucking hole in my head!”
Randy shivered uncomfortably at the choice of words. Tried not to stare at the bandages.
“It’s like I’m a pregnant woman or something.”
Anyone else would have said “senile old man.” (Or “stoner,” which... well... duh.) But no. Gale was a pregnant woman. Randy laughed.
“I’m really gonna suck for memorizing lines now. They’ll have to make me cue cards, or… maybe I can hide little cheat sheets down Teri’s dress.”
Randy laughed harder.
“What if I can’t do it anymore?”
Randy stopped laughing. “What? The show?”
“Act. Anything.”
“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk, mister. It’ll get better. I think it’s just… like exercising a particular muscle, building up the strength. You’ll get there.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Ditto.”
“…What if I forget you were here after you leave?”
That thought made Randy’s chest hurt, but he didn’t let it show on his face.
“I’m coming back. I’ll remind you. Until then…”
He took Gale’s hand, wrote “Randy was here” in ballpoint, kissed the palm.
“A little helpful vandalism.”
Gale laughed. Sweet sound.
***
#2 (500 words)
Peter called to tell Randy that the surgery went well, but there did appear to be some brain damage… in the form of amnesia.
That word nearly sent Randy off the deep end.
“Not total amnesia. He remembers us!” Peter tried to say brightly. “But…”
“But what? What’s wrong?”
“…Best the doctors can tell, he’s lost several years. He thinks we’re still doing the show.”
Out of concern that seeing his friends and castmates… older, different… would confuse Gale, they were asked to stay away at first. Randy canceled his flight and chomped at the bit.
Five days later, the green light was given, and Randy didn’t question. Just booked a new flight.
Randy was heading towards Gale’s room when he realized he probably should have talked to a doctor, gotten a proper briefing. He’d done his best to look as close to what Gale would remember as possible, which had meant shaving. For that moment, he hoped he still looked as young as everyone always said. But…
He didn’t know if Gale’s memory of what year it was had been corrected. Since his visit was now okay, he supposed so… He didn’t even know if Gale thought he was in LA or Toronto!
And he didn’t know specifically at what point in the QAF era Gale’s head was. But somehow, just by those hazel eyes when he walked in, he did.
Late season one. Pre-Simon. Pre- a lot of things. But right in the middle of that closeness that developed so fast. That easy intensity. Friendship that kept on even after they stopped fighting the attraction. Before they knew what any other kind of fighting was.
Gale beckoned Randy to him for a kiss, but his face quickly darkened, remembering newly acquired reality. “Sorry. Do we not do that anymore?”
Randy leaned in. Kissed his lips softly. “Seems we do. How’re you feeling?”
“My head hurts,” Gale deadpanned, managing a small chuckle. “And I’m old. About seven years older than I thought. Sucks.”
“At least you didn’t miss the big 4-0. Still have that to look forward to.” Randy’s smile wavered under the weight of Gale’s stare. “What?”
“You look… I don’t want to say you look like a man, ‘cause you always were, but… fuck. You look great, Rand.”
Randy did not blush. He was thirty years old. He didn’t do that anymore. “You should have seen me with my beard.”
Gale’s eyes widened, picturing it. And they laughed, and Randy told stories as Gale requested, filling in pieces of his missing years.
“You keep asking about me. Maybe they’ve already told you everything, but don’t you want to know about your own life?”
Gale pulled his lip into his mouth, and Randy was glad that hadn’t been forgotten.
“Are they ever the same?”
“Same?”
“Your life and my life. You’re in New York, right? I’m in LA? Do we… still…?” Words fell short.
Randy swallowed emotion. “Not enough. But we’re still us, Gale… That never goes away.”
***
#3 (400 words)
Randy had known Gale would be okay, meaning that he was strong and would survive. But he’d also somehow known that Gale’s memory would pay a price. Had nightmares of Gale looking at him blankly, having forgotten him completely.
That didn’t happen. But Gale’s memory was affected, in a way Randy never could have imagined.
It collided with that of Brian Kinney.
Gale didn’t think he was Brian. He knew who he was, for the most part. That his name was Gale Harold. That he was from Georgia. An actor.
But… Gale’s a pretty Method actor. He really gets into characters’ heads, and probably none more so than the one he played the longest. So his head was filled with quite a few Brian memories, and the accident knocked them out of their Brian pile and mixed them up with his own.
Which led to some confusion.
The injuries he’d sustained, Gale could deal with. He was just so relieved to find out that both his balls were real. He had been fairly certain he’d had cancer.
All the images in his mind of himself with naked men confused him… not so much because they were men, but because he hadn’t thought he was that big of a slut.
And one image kept repeating. One face, one body.
He had doctors coming at him with flash cards. Names, pictures, to help him sort out what was real and what had been a TV show. When he was shown familiar blue eyes, there was no impulse to say, “Justin.” He knew. Randy. His Rand.
That was his costar. They worked very closely together. And that would explain why the image constantly in his mind was of kissing that face, being wrapped around that body.
But it brought feelings with it that went beyond Method. He wasn’t sure what was what… until Randy showed up.
“They said you’re borrowing memories from Brian. Gale… you can do better.”
Gale smiled tiredly. “I’m getting less mixed up. They told me… it was just a show.”
Cute nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“…I remember things… you and me, together… and sometimes it almost seems like it was real… I don’t see cameras or lights or other people… and I feel like me, and I feel…” He stopped. “Never mind. I just thought some wrong things, but-”
Warm fingers closed around his. “You were right.”
***
#4 (200 words)
“Nothing?… He-?… Okay, um, thanks for telling me… Let me- know- if it changes.”
Good news… Gale survived. He’s going to be okay. Bad news… He remembers nothing. When he woke up, he didn’t even know his own name.
Randy wondered how awful a person it made him that it didn’t make him feel as sad as Gale not remembering his name.
Forgotten. He didn’t exist to Gale anymore. And he couldn’t even try to change that. The doctors were afraid of overloading the man with no memory, so friends and coworkers had been collectively warned away. Even once visitors were allowed, Randy didn’t know where or if he would rank.
It was over a month later, and Gale was out of the hospital when he saw him. It was awkward… polite, and then…
“So… I’m kind of famous but not really, huh. That’s fucking weird.”
Randy burst into tears. He hadn’t realized how afraid he’d been that Gale would be gone. But he was still there. It healed and hurt.
“Fuck. You okay?”
“Will be.”
Memories to invoke, words to say… KISS HIM!… screamed through Randy’s head. He just smiled.
“We’re really good friends, right?”
“We’re the best, Gale.”
***
#5 (100 words)
“Rand, enough with the quiz.”
Gale had been giving answers to everything from “Who was your tenth grade math teacher?” to “What did we do in the wardrobe room that time?” His memory survived the accident 100% intact, but Randy kept checking.
“Bradley Gunter.”
“Why do you remember that?” Gale laughed, sighed. “Grade school classmate, nicknamed me ‘Weird Harold.’ But I found it cool, ‘cause how often does a skinny white kid get named after a Fat Albert character. Done yet?”
“I suppose.”
“I’m okay.”
“I know.”
“You sure?”
“If you hadn’t-”
“Shh, I do.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t you forget it.”
