Time-Out, gale/randy oneshot
Aug. 24th, 2009 03:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wouldbedorothyTitle: Time-Out (aka, In The Closet)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PG-16??
Summary: 6370 words. Set during filming. Randy's 26th birthday party takes an unexpected turn when he gets locked in a closet with Gale. Mostly funny, with little angsty bits.
Disclaimer: I made this up.
Don't know if it's any good, but at least it's no longer just a myth, lol. New GR from me. Woohoo! :)
Edit: Damn my perfectionism! Reread, noticed a tiny continuity error, fixed it. If you happened to save this to your personal collection, might I ask you to save it again? lol
Time-Out (aka, In The Closet)
by AHS
“I’m not talking to you.”
“Then get comfy, ‘cause I don’t think your boyfriend’s letting us out of here until we do… That’s a strange one you found, Rand.”
“Ha! Hahaha… Ha.”
“What the fuck was that?”
“Me trying to contain my hysterical laughter at you calling anybody ‘strange.’”
“……”
“Oh, stop with the pouty face, Gale! You can’t pull that off.”
“I’m not-… Just saying, I never locked you in a closet. On your birthday. At a party in your honor.”
“Believe me, I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, either.”
***
(*ahem*… Let’s backtrack to a few weeks earlier…)
“What’s this?”
“What does it look like?”
Gale examined the embossed rectangle Randy had slapped into his hand. “An invitation… You’re having a birthday party?”
Randy pulled the strap of his messenger bag higher on his shoulder, anxious to get away from the set. “Yes.”
“This was your idea?”
“Simon’s. He coming up for a week, and he wants to throw a party.”
“He probably feels bad about not being here last year.”
Randy rolled his eyes. “Nice dig, Gale.”
“What the f-… It wasn’t a dig.”
“Right.”
Well, not consciously, it wasn’t.
“Simon couldn’t get away last year, and we had no actual plans anyw-… Forget it.” Randy decided there was no need for defense, turned and walked off. “If you’re coming, don’t forget to RSVP.”
Standing there alone… well, except for a wandering key grip, looking at him sympathetically… Gale was left to wonder what had happened to the Gale and Randy Show. When had they gone from best friends who could talk for hours about anything to this bizarre formality? This miscommunication and non-communication and sniping at each other?
He had a pretty good guess. But he didn’t actually want to think about that.
…Parts of him did.
Gale glanced back at the invitation in his hand. He had known about the party, the others having received their invites the day before. Gale had been waiting to see if Randy would even invite him, and at least he had.
So, he would go. And he would watch Simon’s arm glue itself around Randy, and he’d try to disintegrate it with his heat vision. And since Gale wasn’t a superhero, that wouldn’t work, so he would just have to suck it up and smile.
Fuck. This was sounding like a hell of a party.
***
(Now let’s jump to Randy’s birthday, two hours before party time…)
Randy was so cute when he had his nose in a book. Simon’s first impulse was to sneak up behind him and nuzzle his neck, but he chose instead to watch his boyfriend for a few minutes. Beautiful, so youthful - even for his only barely twenty-six years - and… hmm, definitely not reading.
No page was ever turned. Upon closer inspection, Simon realized Randy’s eyes were unfocused, stuck on one spot, and his gaze never moved. Obviously, he was lost in thought, but about what?
Randy had seemed stressed for a while. That… and, admittedly, a bit of distance between the two of them, that had grown and lessened and back again… was the reason for the birthday party. Randy would relax, Simon would get along brilliantly with all his castmates and friends, and most importantly, Randy would RELAX.
“You might as well turn that book upside down and have a full-out comedy moment.”
“…What?” Slightly belatedly, Randy heard Simon speaking and looked up. “You say something?”
“What’s got you so preoccupied?”
“Oh.” Randy let the book close and drop, thought honestly about the question for a second, and quickly fudged something else. “The party. People will start arriving soon, and…” He stood suddenly. “I should clean up.”
“This place is spotless. And the party is for you. You don’t need to do anything.” Simon offered Randy’s shoulders some light kneading. “It will all be ready, the caterers are bringing the food…”
A blond head whipped quickly around and blue eyes stared. “The party’s catered? I thought it was going to be casual!”
“It will be, it is. It’s a very casual and eclectic menu of mostly finger foods, stuff you and your friends like. Even some of those weird peanut butter and banana fritter things Gale loves.” The name was said with a tone ever so subtly… put out.
Shoulders tensed and ducked away. “I’m not sure he’s even coming.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“He’s just been acting strange lately.”
“He checked ‘will attend’ on his RSVP card and wrote ‘with bells on.’ That sounds like his usual brand of strange to me… Did you have a fight?”
“No.” It hadn’t been a fight, at all. But Randy realized after the fact that he probably should have said yes to the question. “Everything’s fine.”
Simon was not convinced, and Randy could tell.
“I think I’ll take a shower.”
Before Simon could even contemplate offering to join him, the doorbell rang.
“I guess I’ll be bitching -- I mean, directing the caterers.”
Simon waited for Randy’s laugh but only got the sound of footsteps down the hall to the bathroom.
***
They woke up at almost the same second and both were immediately aware of Randy’s hand. Because Randy’s hand was on Gale’s crotch. Rubbing through denim, without thought. Still rubbing even after that awareness set in and thoughts consciously formed. It didn’t stop.
“Guess we… fell asleep.”
Friends on a couch, watching TV. Close friends who leaned and touched and even tangled, casually, all the time. It wasn’t unusual. Except for this wake-up call. The gravelly wanting in voice and hardness in hand.
“Rand?”
“Mm.”
Gale’s eyes were questioning, maybe a little afraid. But they dropped to Randy’s mouth and Randy took that as the answer to Gale’s own question. Answered back by kissing him.
Maybe Gale was slightly pinned under Randy, but his body definitely did not want to get away. A second of surprise and Gale was kissing back. Sucking lips, biting softly. Opening, licking at a now less than timid tongue. His hands slipping beneath Randy’s shirt along his back, up again to grasp his head and kiss deeper, then down again to clutch his ass and press Randy into him, his own hips pressing up.
Motion became more desperate, just more, breathing faster and louder. Gale’s shirt was half off and he was scrabbling to undo Randy’s pants. And before he quite could, suddenly… it did stop.
Gale stopped.
He was up, out from under, and halfway across the room before Randy’s eyes were even open. He said, “You don’t want to do this,” and was out the door before Randy could think of a way to answer back this time.
Randy was in shock but his body was still in the moment. He was left so hard, nothing to do but jerk off, crying as he did, like the fucking saddest person ever. After he’d come, he remembered Simon, and he cried more.
***
Randy cursed quietly into the sound of the water beating down for thinking about that night. The miserable ending was not enough to keep his dick from responding to the heat of the memory. But he refused to give in to it this time.
He grabbed the shower dial and turned it abruptly to the right, holding back a scream at the feel of the ice cold water.
Going cold. It was the best strategy he had come up with.
***
(And now, about 45 minutes into the party…)
“These are delicious!”
Thea was discovering a love for peanut butter and banana, shoving her fifth fritter into her mouth. Michelle was suppressing laughter as Hal did an impression of Thea eating that looked and sounded like Cookie Monster as one of the Beverly Hillbillies.
Simon gave a satisfied smile, the pleased host, before rolling his eyes a bit. “I would say to leave a few for Gale, but as he’s not here…”
“Is he coming?” Thea asked Michelle.
“I think he said he was.”
“You snooze, you lose.” Hal shrugged and popped a fritter.
A few minutes later, the doorbell was heard, in combination with a funny knock. Simon was in the kitchen, making drinks. Randy was in conversation with Peter, who noticed the… let’s say, lack of enthusiasm on Randy’s face at the indication of a new arrival, and hurried to get the door himself.
“Gale, there you are! And… who’s this?”
Gale nodded towards the pretty brunette he had an arm slung around. “This is Tia.”
“Oh.” Peter blinked for a second of just knowing something was going to hit the proverbial fan before the night was over, but quickly smiled and took her hand. “Charmed, Tia. I’m Peter. You guys, join the party!”
Their entrance into the living room area and the general swing of things was not dramatic. There were a few jovial shouts, much like Norm walking through the door at Cheers, at the sight of Gale. The sight of him with a date was not surprising or given any kind of pause. Except by one.
To Randy, everything seemed to slow and magnify. Gale was there, laughing, his arm glued around some woman. Though, to be fair, Gale probably had to keep his arm around her… so that she didn’t tip over.
When Gale finally looked over at him, their eyes had about fifty knock-down drag-outs in what was probably five seconds. And, though not in accordance with usual staring contest rules, Randy looked away first and thereby declared himself the winner. He celebrated both that and his birthday by going to the kitchen for more alcohol.
He heard Simon say, “He’s here,” in his ear, like he should be happy now. Then Simon was off hosting again and Randy was knocking back a shot of… what the fuck… Goldschlager? Like a cinnamon punch in the face. With little gold sparklies. How festive. How gay.
People floated in and out of the kitchen, and he smiled and talked to them, but mostly he was hiding from his own party. After about ten minutes, he peeked out and saw Simon. Talking to Gale and Miss November. Fucking lovely. Then Simon saw him seeing them and waved him over. Shit.
“Randy, come say hello!”
Fake smile. One foot after the other. “Hi… Gale.” He turned to her. “And you would be?”
Gale cleared his throat. “Tia, this is Randy.”
She shook Randy’s hand enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you.” She leaned into Gale and lowered her voice somewhat, but not nearly enough. “I don’t know why you were reluctant to come here. Seems like a great party.” Then she addressed Randy again, oblivious. “Is there some occasion, or are we just having fun just because?”
“Is there some…?” Randy spoke slowly, in case he’d misunderstood. “It’s a birthday party. My birthday?”
“Oh, it is? Happy birthday!” She gestured questioningly at Gale. “Where’s your present?”
Gale shrugged and looked right at the birthday boy. “I already gave it to him.”
***
“Would you stop ignoring me? Rand… Randy!”
“What?”
“I… What do you want for your birthday?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on.”
“In place of that night, I want *nothing*. And I want us to go on with our lives like nothing happened, because that’s all that did.”
“…Okay.”
***
Blue eyes begged, but they didn’t know for what.
“Excuse me. Other guests.” Randy suddenly mumbled an excuse and walked away before he crumbled. He darted around people, hoping they didn’t notice he wasn’t talking to any of them.
Scott caught his arm. “Randy, you okay? You’re too young to look so stressed on your birthday.”
“I’m fine, fine. You want something to drink?”
“It’s your party! I’ll get you a drink,” Scott laughed.
Randy shook his head quickly and veered off from everyone, towards the bedroom, opening the closed door and then shutting himself inside.
Breathe… in… out…
Not a minute later, a brief knock, and Simon ducked in as well.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Sorry. Just… needed a moment. A breather, I guess.”
“Is this to do with Gale and that girl?”
“No.” Just Gale. “Although… they obviously do a lot of talking, right? She didn’t even know the party was for me! He didn’t bother to mention it!”
“And that hurts you?”
“No! I mean…” He switched to righteous indignation. “Yes!”
“Why?”
Randy opened his mouth. Shut it. “We’re supposed to be friends. Why wouldn’t he mention me?”
“Precisely.”
Randy felt the need to backtrack, but he didn’t even know what he’d said. “What? Simon…”
“Never mind. Just… stay in here for a while, if you want,” Simon sighed.
“What about…?”
“I am host extraordinaire. I can certainly keep everyone entertained without your help.”
Randy laughed softly, more a sound of relief. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to go to your thinking place?”
“Probably. I mean, not that I have a lot to think about, or anything. Just to sit for a few minutes.”
“You do that.”
Just outside the bedroom, Simon rested a moment against the wall. The plan for Randy to relax was not working, and he supposed he had known it wouldn’t. He’d known for a while that Randy was consumed with something, someone, that wouldn’t just go away.
So, the plan had to change. Three people had been living in the land of denial, and Simon accepted that he would have to be the one to leave first.
***
“Gale, could you get something for me?”
Gale quirked an eyebrow at Simon’s head, which was stuck through the balcony door and wearing an awkward grin. If not for the use of his name, he would have been looking behind him. He put out his cigarette and walked back inside, curious at what Simon might possibly want from him.
“Need me to run to the store? Short on booze?”
“No, nothing like that. I just want to stay out here and keep Randy occupied until we start with the gifts, and mine is on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Could you grab it for me?”
Gale didn’t really understand, and started to ask why, but instead just bobbled his head in what-the-fuck acceptance. “What does it look-”
“Oh, you’ll know it!”
Okaaayy.
***
Maybe if Gale hadn’t been so busy thinking that the last thing he wanted to do was to go fetch Randy’s perfect boyfriend’s perfect present, he would have noticed that Randy was not out there, amongst the guests, where Simon supposedly wanted to stay with him. But he didn’t.
So, he made his way into the bedroom, trying not to look at the bed (and think of disgusting things that had happened there, or delicious things that hadn’t), and turned into the walk-in closet.
“What are you doing??”
Gale was greeted by an affronted-looking Randy, sitting on the floor at the back of the closet, arms on his knees.
“What am I doing? You’re sitting in a-… Look, I just came to get something.” Gale looked to the top shelf and saw shoes, hats, piles of books, but nothing wrapped. Nothing that was obviously a present.
“What exactly do you need out of my closet, Gale? A kicky chapeau?”
“No, it’s time for you to open presents, and-” Gale paused… Huh. “You’re not out there.”
“Brilliant deduction.”
“He said…”
“Who?”
“Simon.”
“Did I hear my name?”
Gale and Randy’s attention zoomed to the voice coming through the now closed door. Randy stood up. Gale reached for the doorknob, only to find it also now… locked. He twisted it shallowly, back and forth, in vain.
“What the fuck?”
“Gale, did you lock us in ?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t. I did.”
“Simon, what’s going on?” Randy was confused. “Could you open the door?”
“I don’t think so. Not yet.”
“What do you mean, ‘Not yet’?!”
“I mean, you two need a time-out, of sorts.”
“WHAT? Simon, we’re not two-year-olds!” Randy glanced at Gale. “At least, I’m not.”
“I know you’re not. You’re two grown men who… obviously have some things to talk about.”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
Even in the midst of trying to figure out what was happening, Gale couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how NOT like a two-year-old Randy sounded.
“All the more reason you need to talk. Randy… it used to worry me, when we first got together, how much you smiled when you talked about Gale. Just how much you talked about Gale. Lately, you talk about him even more than you used to. You’re complaining about him, and you’re definitely not smiling, but it’s not any less worrying. Now, I don’t know what happened…”
Randy and Gale’s eyes met briefly and then darted away guiltily.
“…I don’t need to. But you two are staying in there until it’s worked out. Kiss and make up or fight to the death. Something’s got to give.”
They were too stunned to argue Simon’s words. They heard his footsteps walking away, and his voice, resigned.
“This is probably the best and the very worst idea I have ever had.”
***
“So, Tia, how long have you and Gale been dating?” Thea asked politely.
“Oh.” Tia thought about it for a second and shrugged. “A couple of hours, I guess.”
Thea and Scotty blinked a few times, then smiled and nodded.
“That’s nice.”
“You know… you guys look really familiar.” Tia scanned the crowd. “And him… and her… and him, too… Have I seen you all somewhere before?”
“You mean, besides the show?”
“What show?”
Hal walked up. “You mean your date didn’t mention he’s the star of a TV show?”
“No. But I don’t own a TV, anyway… Oh, yeah, I recognize you guys now!”
“So you have seen it?”
“No, you guys have come to the bar a few times! The Moose Head?”
“Yes, I believe we have. You’re…”
“I’m a bartender there! I was working earlier, and then Gale came in, and he was really down, and I actually watered down his drinks -- shh, don’t tell -- ‘cause I didn’t think alcohol would help, you know… and then he invited me here!”
The gang barely had a chance to react to that before Simon reemerged, all forced cheer.
“Who’s up for some party games?”
“Uh… where’s Randy?” Michelle asked. She couldn’t remember having seen him for the last half hour.
“He’s in the bedroom closet with Gale,” Simon replied, matter-of-factly.
Hal snorted. Peter thwapped him lightly on the back of the head.
“I locked them in there.”
Thea asked the sixty-four-thousand dollar question. “…Why?”
“I’m sure you all have noticed, not only how unnaturally attached to each other they’ve always been, but that they are now barely speaking. I’m forcing them to deal with each other, and whatever the result, I will live with it… Would anyone like cake?”
“Wait… so Gale’s in the closet-”
Hal snorted again, louder. This time, he got a double thwap from Peter and Michelle.
“-with the birthday guy?”
“Sorry about that, Tia, but it had to be done.” Meanwhile, Simon had delved into the hall closet and stood clutching a stack of board games. “Who’s a fan of Guesstures?”
***
(This is just about where we came in…)
“This is ridiculous.”
“Agreed. Who the fuck has a closet you can’t open from inside?”
Randy’s glare was enough to melt your face. “Not what I meant by ‘ridiculous,” and really not a helpful question right now.”
“I’m pretty sure the word applies in multiple ways.”
The closet, end to end, could be walked in three strides. Gale now sat with his back against the door, Randy back in his original spot. They were as far apart as they could be in the relatively small space, faced off.
“I’m not talking to you.”
“Then get comfy, ‘cause I don’t think your boyfriend’s letting us out of here until we do… That’s a strange one you found, Rand.”
“Ha! Hahaha… Ha.”
“What the fuck was that?”
“Me trying to contain my hysterical laughter at you calling anybody ‘strange.’”
“……”
“Oh, stop with the pouty face, Gale! You can’t pull that off.”
“I’m not-… Just saying, I never locked you in a closet. On your birthday. At a party in your honor.”
“Believe me, I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, either.”
They were silent for a few minutes. Randy mentally debated pounding on the door and screaming until one of his kind guests showed up to liberate him. Gale was trying not to be happy at the situation he found himself in, but he had just known Randy would manage to ignore him all night, and he couldn’t help but be a little delighted to see the man so fucking thrown.
“What are you smiling at?”
And maybe it showed on his face.
“Nothing.”
And maybe that bugged the crap out of Randy.
“Are you and Simon in on this together or something? Is this some big joke I don’t get?” he yelled. “…Why are you STILL SMILING???”
“Because at least you’re getting angry at me! That’s better than the fucking polite strangers routine!”
Gale wasn’t really smiling anymore, and Randy’s eyes were wide, and the air shook a little with new weight. They both took a breath, a beat, and resigned themselves to their strange circumstance and the necessity of it.
“We’ve been getting through at work, but… just barely,” Randy admitted.
“Tell me about it.”
Gale meant that literally, as well as figuratively, and waited for Randy to say more… but got nothing. The party’s music filtered in, not at all loud, but very clear in their silence. Gale started singing along.
Randy gave him such a dirty look, so fast. Gale started singing a little louder, and then stopped to say...
“By the way, if you want me to stop pissing all over the songbook of Mr. Rufus Wainwright, you might want to talk to me.”
“Fine. Let’s talk.”
“You first.”
“It’s my birthday. You go first.”
Gale ran a hand through his hair and counted to ten. “All right.”
***
The party stumbled on.
A rousing game of Guesstures was taking place, with some beloved crew members putting the actors to shame.
The guessing got louder a few times, by design. When Gale and Randy’s voices did so to the point that all the guests could hear every word shouted.
Out of courtesy to Simon… to the poor girl who was now making drinks… and to the two men in question, they felt they should make a conscious effort to not listen. In between turns, people faked coughs and looked at each other awkwardly.
Since pretty much every one of them wanted nothing more than to let out with a mighty “SHHHHHH!” and be very still and quiet and take in every single sound emanating from that bedroom closet. Fuck, take it in and take notes on it.
Because, seriously. This was Gale and Randy. It had been a long time coming… whatever exactly “it” was… and there were long-time bets to be settled.
***
“Why did you stop having anything to do with me?”
“That’s obviously inaccurate. I see you all the time.”
“Yeah, at work… You stopped talking to me except when you had to.”
“Invited you to this party, didn’t I? And aren’t you SO glad I did?” Randy hoped you couldn’t drown in your own sarcasm.
“Okay, new question. Why’d you get weird?”
“Why did I ‘GET WEIRD’?”
Randy did fucking air quotes.
“Would you be so kind as to define, ‘get weird’?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Then you know why.”
“No. No, I know when, and maybe what, but I really don’t know why.”
Randy almost said one of those ridiculous things women say… and okay, maybe some gay men… when they’re in a fight with their boyfriend but the boyfriend doesn’t know what they did wrong. Like, “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.” But then Gale said…
“Was it really that bad?”
Gale’s voice was small, and a little sad, and Randy stared at him.
“What?”
This time, Gale just shrugged and looked away.
The man didn’t mean “bad,” as in wrong, which it had been… He meant “bad,” as in unenjoyable??
“Are you kidding? Gale, we almost- I almost- C’mon, you felt…”
Remembering that night, the words skidded to a halt on Randy’s tongue in a rush of new anger. He wasn’t going to waste time or breath assuring Gale of his body’s reaction to him. Gale was the one who- who…
“You stopped! YOU. You couldn’t get out of there fast enough. So why are you acting like the injured party?”
“You mean, when you’re…” Gale scooted just an inch or two, slowly, towards Randy. “…the injured party?”
“No.” Randy eyed Gale warily.
“I don’t want anybody to be injured.”
Randy felt his heart warm, in spite of itself, at Gale’s dorky choice of words, and it made him want to kick something.
“Especially you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you cheat on Simon. You wouldn’t forgive yourself. That’s why I stopped.”
Randy grabbed a nearby hoodie, disrupted its neat folding, and pressed it to his face, muffling a scream of frustration.
“Yeah,” he muttered as he dropped it. “I kind of figured that.”
“And for that, you hate me?”
“You know I don’t hate you. But I’ll tell you why I’ve been so pissed.”
Gale nodded, waited.
“One, no matter the circumstances, and no matter if you should be relieved that things didn’t go as far as they could have, being the one rejected always hurts.”
“I didn’t rej-”
“Ah ah!” Randy held up his hand in a silencing (and mildly threatening) gesture. “And two…” He sighed, long and heavily. “Do you know how shitty it feels to not be the one to remember in that moment that you have a boyfriend and try to save your relationship? Do you know how much I hate that you had to do that for me? That I wasn’t the one to stop?”
“Rand…”
“And I got really mad at you just because you could stop, and I don’t even know if I could have!”
“Rand…”
“So, either you’re stronger than I am, or you just didn’t want me as much as-…”
“Rand.”
So caught up was he in his emotional catharsis… some would say ranting and raving… otherwise known as queening… that he didn’t notice Gale’s movement until suddenly hazel eyes were right in front of him. And dark rose lips.
“It’s neither one of those things. Trust me.”
Then mouth covered mouth and they were silent.
***
Peter, Scotty, Thea and Michelle were a tiny bit drunk. Scratch that. Actually, Thea was a bit drunk, Michelle and Peter were just in the vicinity of tipsy, and Scotty was the awesomely sober designated driver.
But they were all equal levels of curious. And huddled together in the small hallway outside the bedroom.
“This almost feels like that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel are breaking up and the other four are in the other room, listening to the whole thing,” Peter whispered.
Thea’s hand went to her heart. “Oh, that was so sad.”
“Yeah, uh, except they were kind of trapped and didn’t have a choice but to hear everything, whereas we are sneaking closer and purposely trying to,” Michelle pointed out.
“Right. But other than that, it’s the same.” Scotty shook his head and reached up to pat Peter’s head.
“I want to be Phoebe,” Thea giggled.
“If we weren’t trying to keep quiet, I would fight you for that title.” Peter made a playful boxing motion.
“Should we feel guilty about this?”
“I might feel a little guiltier if I were actually hearing anything.”
“Wait, you’re right. They were yelling before, but now… it’s all quiet.”
“Tooooo quiet.”
“What do you think it means?”
“Well, either they killed each other, or…”
There was a thud. Not very loud. Just kind of like the sound of, oh, a body being pressed firmly against a wall.
“…or…”
There was a moan. Some definite heavy breathing.
“…or that.”
“Ooh. I think things are going better than they did for Ross and Rachel.”
“Hey, what are you guys up to?”
“Shhh, we can’t hear Gale and R-…… Oh… oops.”
“Hi, Tia.”
***
Okay, maybe they weren’t completely silent.
Randy was wedged into a back corner of the closet by Gale’s arms and chest and kisses. Kisses hot and wet and continuous. Lips grateful to be pushing and pulling and tasting, not spitting out hurtful words, or words polite but cold.
One of his coats had slipped halfway off its hanger above them and the zipper kept hitting Randy in the face, so he tilted sideways to avoid it. He tilted and Gale tilted with him until they were both horizontal, lying on the floor.
Maybe it took having Gale on top of him. That night, Randy had been the one on top. But now, warm weight was pressing him into the carpet… pile slightly burning the skin of his back, where his shirt was pushed up… and his brain remembered where they were. Where and how and what was going on a couple of rooms away. His hand already in Gale’s hair, he gripped and tugged just enough too hard that it detached their mouths.
“Gale… we can’t…”
Gale panted and his eyes tried to focus. But he knew Randy was right. He pushed himself up and off, sitting carefully, arms wrapped around his legs, pants feeling really fucking uncomfortably tight. Offering a hand to Randy, who used it to pull up, then positioned himself similarly. Both smoothing their hair and straightening clothing.
Gale tucked in his lower lip, holding in a chuckle. And was hit in the ear by a flying baseball cap. “Ow.”
“What’s funny?”
“I was thinking… that was the best Seven Minutes in Heaven ever.”
Randy smiled, but only for a second. “It’s really not funny. Simon. Simon is right out there, keeping all my friends entertained solo because I needed to sulk. And what am I doing?”
“He’s keeping your friends entertained solo because he locked you in a closet.”
“Fuck, still… I’m a bad person. Very bad person. And he got you peanut butter and banana fritters!”
“Guess that means I’m a bad person, too. But, Rand…” Gale chanced touching Randy’s knee, and smiled proudly. “You remembered. And you stopped. You stopped.”
“I did.” Randy smiled again, almost, and placed his hand over Gale’s. “But, being honest, finally… I want to start again. So, now what do I do?”
***
The party was… yeah… over.
Peter had taken Simon aside. Not to tell him anything overheard, but just to check on how he was doing. He seemed to know without knowing, and Peter wondered how long that had been the case when he saw him pull out a small suitcase he had tucked away, already packed.
He said it was time to return to New York. He asked Peter to tell everyone thank you for coming and be sure they found their way to their respective homes. He pressed two items into Peter’s palm and gave specific instructions for each. Sad smile as he slipped quietly out of the apartment. And their host was gone.
Peter enlisted Scotty’s help in breaking up what remained of the party. Calling an end to Cranium, at which Bobby was kicking everybody’s ass. Pulling Hal away from Tia and saving her from the joke avalanche that was his version of flirting. Making sure all had transportation.
“Tia, hon, do you need a ride?”
“Hmm. Looks like it.” She held up the new drink she had invented. “This is called, um… a Gay Date! Don’t remember what’s in it. But that’s why it’s called that, ‘cause… SURPRISE!” She took a rather large swig.
“I was going to ask what she heard,” Peter whispered to Scott. “But I guess… enough.”
While Scotty batted Hal away from her, insisting his car was full, Bobby stepped up and offered Tia a ride. She looked him in the eyes and squinted.
“Are you gay?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Thank you,” she said, and took his arm. “See? I just want to KNOW!”
They left, and guests continued to filter out in a slow but steady drip. Amongst the goodbyes and the getting of coats and such, a tall figure floated, unnoticed, to a door… and turned a silent key.
***
“I’ve missed you, Rand.”
Randy shared the sentiment, so much, but he couldn’t quite rid himself of snark. “Is that why you brought your, uh… security blanket out there?”
“Fuck.” Gale had forgotten. “Tia. I kind of abandoned her, didn’t I?”
“Pretty rude, I must say. But she’ll forgive you, right?”
Gale shrugged. “She just met me.”
“What?”
“She’s… a friend. She’s a good listener.”
“What exactly did she listen to? She didn’t even know who I was or what the party-”
“And a professional provider of liquid courage.”
“She’s a bartender?”
“Yep.”
“You met her…”
“Right before I came here. I, uh, needed a little liquid courage.”
“And then you decided you needed… silicone courage?”
“Hey, come on. She’s a nice girl.”
“You’re right. She did seem nice.”
“And, FYI, she mostly listened to me doing some general moping. About how life sucked and that I didn’t want to go to a party because I didn’t have heat vision.”
“You are so weird.” Randy stretched out one of his legs and hooked an ankle around Gale’s. “Yeah, I missed that. I’m… sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Gale wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“It’s not just because of this… that… what just happened, that I’m a bad person. I’ve been cold and… mean, really, to you. And lukewarm and barely there with Simon.”
“Any ideas on why that is?”
“Probably because I wanted something I couldn’t have.”
“Maybe you can.”
“Can I?” Randy looked pointedly at Gale and their surroundings. “You look rather comfortable here in this closet, you know.”
Gale smiled, knowingly and almost shyly. “Well, it’s cozy, but not really somewhere to live. I’m ready to get out of here any time. If you’re with me.”
“It can’t be that easy.”
“The things that are really crazy worth it usually aren’t.”
Then three things happened in rapid succession. 1) Randy lunged at Gale and stuck his tongue down his throat. 2) They crashed against the closet door. 3) They fell through said door.
They blinked at each other, slightly dazed, from where they lay on the bedroom floor. The door had indeed swung open. They were free.
“What happened? Did we do that?”
“Uh, we’re good, but… I think somebody unlocked the door.”
“Is the party over?… HELLO?” Randy called out but got only eerie silence in response. “Did you hear everybody leave?”
“I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on outside.”
“Yeah, me neither… Simon?”
They walked out to the living area to find it empty of people. Only the evidence of a party remained, including a pile of unopened presents on the coffee table.
“Rand, take a look at this.”
Next to the presents was a key. Underneath that, an envelope with Randy’s name on it. Gale handed it to him, knowing it was from Simon, and then wandered away to give Randy privacy while he read. He cleaned up a little, trying not to be afraid of what it might contain or how it might change Randy’s thinking. After a few minutes, he drifted back close enough to see Randy set the letter down, his face slightly wet. Gale got as close as he could and wrapped his arms around him.
“I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. And he made it so I didn’t have to.”
“You okay?”
“More than I should be.”
“I know you feel guilty, but… he must have known. I mean, he must’ve had an idea what might happen.”
“He did. He said. God, he was just too fucking smart for me.” Randy shook his head fondly. “Loved me enough to let me go.”
“It’s tough. I know,” Gale breathed into Randy’s hair. “Hell, that’s what I’ve been trying to do the last couple of- years.”
They got very still for a second, both realizing what Gale had sort of said. Then Randy started them lightly swaying together. Music was still playing softly.
“Dance with me.”
“It’s still your birthday for another… ah, twenty minutes or so, so I guess I have to say yes, huh?”
They danced, but mostly held. And Randy nearly fell asleep, face in Gale’s chest.
“You still breathing?”
“Mmhmm. Long day. Bizarre but… good.”
“I like that assessment. There’s just one thing that worries me.”
“Gale, if you utter the word ‘fraternization,’ I will step on your foot so hard…”
“No, fuck that. I’m just trying to figure out what kind of freak goes and sits in a closet to think.”
“Oh yeah? Where do you go to think? Or is that even something you do?”
“My car, thank you very much.”
“A car. Yes, that’s much better than a closet.”
“Hey, at least it’s got a radio. Not to mention, I can open it from the inside.”
“I’m going to shut you up now.”
Randy did, in a way that Gale did not at all mind.
Gale stayed. They danced and slept and talked and cleaned and slept and occasionally made out like crazy. They didn’t have sex, but that was okay. It was enough that what they could never have had become what they could, and fucking would. Randy had been given what he wanted and needed for his birthday, by both Simon and Gale.
Sometime the next morning, they found a little gift of sorts from their friends as well. At some point during the party, an intense game of Scrabble must have broken out. And maybe no one saved them any fritters, but there on the board, spelled out in the tiles, were their names, written as one. And one more word…
FINALLY
Author:
wouldbedorothy (AHS)Pairing: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PG-16??
Summary: 6370 words. Set during filming. Randy's 26th birthday party takes an unexpected turn when he gets locked in a closet with Gale. Mostly funny, with little angsty bits.
Disclaimer: I made this up.
Don't know if it's any good, but at least it's no longer just a myth, lol. New GR from me. Woohoo! :)
Edit: Damn my perfectionism! Reread, noticed a tiny continuity error, fixed it. If you happened to save this to your personal collection, might I ask you to save it again? lol
Time-Out (aka, In The Closet)
by AHS
“I’m not talking to you.”
“Then get comfy, ‘cause I don’t think your boyfriend’s letting us out of here until we do… That’s a strange one you found, Rand.”
“Ha! Hahaha… Ha.”
“What the fuck was that?”
“Me trying to contain my hysterical laughter at you calling anybody ‘strange.’”
“……”
“Oh, stop with the pouty face, Gale! You can’t pull that off.”
“I’m not-… Just saying, I never locked you in a closet. On your birthday. At a party in your honor.”
“Believe me, I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, either.”
***
(*ahem*… Let’s backtrack to a few weeks earlier…)
“What’s this?”
“What does it look like?”
Gale examined the embossed rectangle Randy had slapped into his hand. “An invitation… You’re having a birthday party?”
Randy pulled the strap of his messenger bag higher on his shoulder, anxious to get away from the set. “Yes.”
“This was your idea?”
“Simon’s. He coming up for a week, and he wants to throw a party.”
“He probably feels bad about not being here last year.”
Randy rolled his eyes. “Nice dig, Gale.”
“What the f-… It wasn’t a dig.”
“Right.”
Well, not consciously, it wasn’t.
“Simon couldn’t get away last year, and we had no actual plans anyw-… Forget it.” Randy decided there was no need for defense, turned and walked off. “If you’re coming, don’t forget to RSVP.”
Standing there alone… well, except for a wandering key grip, looking at him sympathetically… Gale was left to wonder what had happened to the Gale and Randy Show. When had they gone from best friends who could talk for hours about anything to this bizarre formality? This miscommunication and non-communication and sniping at each other?
He had a pretty good guess. But he didn’t actually want to think about that.
…Parts of him did.
Gale glanced back at the invitation in his hand. He had known about the party, the others having received their invites the day before. Gale had been waiting to see if Randy would even invite him, and at least he had.
So, he would go. And he would watch Simon’s arm glue itself around Randy, and he’d try to disintegrate it with his heat vision. And since Gale wasn’t a superhero, that wouldn’t work, so he would just have to suck it up and smile.
Fuck. This was sounding like a hell of a party.
***
(Now let’s jump to Randy’s birthday, two hours before party time…)
Randy was so cute when he had his nose in a book. Simon’s first impulse was to sneak up behind him and nuzzle his neck, but he chose instead to watch his boyfriend for a few minutes. Beautiful, so youthful - even for his only barely twenty-six years - and… hmm, definitely not reading.
No page was ever turned. Upon closer inspection, Simon realized Randy’s eyes were unfocused, stuck on one spot, and his gaze never moved. Obviously, he was lost in thought, but about what?
Randy had seemed stressed for a while. That… and, admittedly, a bit of distance between the two of them, that had grown and lessened and back again… was the reason for the birthday party. Randy would relax, Simon would get along brilliantly with all his castmates and friends, and most importantly, Randy would RELAX.
“You might as well turn that book upside down and have a full-out comedy moment.”
“…What?” Slightly belatedly, Randy heard Simon speaking and looked up. “You say something?”
“What’s got you so preoccupied?”
“Oh.” Randy let the book close and drop, thought honestly about the question for a second, and quickly fudged something else. “The party. People will start arriving soon, and…” He stood suddenly. “I should clean up.”
“This place is spotless. And the party is for you. You don’t need to do anything.” Simon offered Randy’s shoulders some light kneading. “It will all be ready, the caterers are bringing the food…”
A blond head whipped quickly around and blue eyes stared. “The party’s catered? I thought it was going to be casual!”
“It will be, it is. It’s a very casual and eclectic menu of mostly finger foods, stuff you and your friends like. Even some of those weird peanut butter and banana fritter things Gale loves.” The name was said with a tone ever so subtly… put out.
Shoulders tensed and ducked away. “I’m not sure he’s even coming.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“He’s just been acting strange lately.”
“He checked ‘will attend’ on his RSVP card and wrote ‘with bells on.’ That sounds like his usual brand of strange to me… Did you have a fight?”
“No.” It hadn’t been a fight, at all. But Randy realized after the fact that he probably should have said yes to the question. “Everything’s fine.”
Simon was not convinced, and Randy could tell.
“I think I’ll take a shower.”
Before Simon could even contemplate offering to join him, the doorbell rang.
“I guess I’ll be bitching -- I mean, directing the caterers.”
Simon waited for Randy’s laugh but only got the sound of footsteps down the hall to the bathroom.
***
They woke up at almost the same second and both were immediately aware of Randy’s hand. Because Randy’s hand was on Gale’s crotch. Rubbing through denim, without thought. Still rubbing even after that awareness set in and thoughts consciously formed. It didn’t stop.
“Guess we… fell asleep.”
Friends on a couch, watching TV. Close friends who leaned and touched and even tangled, casually, all the time. It wasn’t unusual. Except for this wake-up call. The gravelly wanting in voice and hardness in hand.
“Rand?”
“Mm.”
Gale’s eyes were questioning, maybe a little afraid. But they dropped to Randy’s mouth and Randy took that as the answer to Gale’s own question. Answered back by kissing him.
Maybe Gale was slightly pinned under Randy, but his body definitely did not want to get away. A second of surprise and Gale was kissing back. Sucking lips, biting softly. Opening, licking at a now less than timid tongue. His hands slipping beneath Randy’s shirt along his back, up again to grasp his head and kiss deeper, then down again to clutch his ass and press Randy into him, his own hips pressing up.
Motion became more desperate, just more, breathing faster and louder. Gale’s shirt was half off and he was scrabbling to undo Randy’s pants. And before he quite could, suddenly… it did stop.
Gale stopped.
He was up, out from under, and halfway across the room before Randy’s eyes were even open. He said, “You don’t want to do this,” and was out the door before Randy could think of a way to answer back this time.
Randy was in shock but his body was still in the moment. He was left so hard, nothing to do but jerk off, crying as he did, like the fucking saddest person ever. After he’d come, he remembered Simon, and he cried more.
***
Randy cursed quietly into the sound of the water beating down for thinking about that night. The miserable ending was not enough to keep his dick from responding to the heat of the memory. But he refused to give in to it this time.
He grabbed the shower dial and turned it abruptly to the right, holding back a scream at the feel of the ice cold water.
Going cold. It was the best strategy he had come up with.
***
(And now, about 45 minutes into the party…)
“These are delicious!”
Thea was discovering a love for peanut butter and banana, shoving her fifth fritter into her mouth. Michelle was suppressing laughter as Hal did an impression of Thea eating that looked and sounded like Cookie Monster as one of the Beverly Hillbillies.
Simon gave a satisfied smile, the pleased host, before rolling his eyes a bit. “I would say to leave a few for Gale, but as he’s not here…”
“Is he coming?” Thea asked Michelle.
“I think he said he was.”
“You snooze, you lose.” Hal shrugged and popped a fritter.
A few minutes later, the doorbell was heard, in combination with a funny knock. Simon was in the kitchen, making drinks. Randy was in conversation with Peter, who noticed the… let’s say, lack of enthusiasm on Randy’s face at the indication of a new arrival, and hurried to get the door himself.
“Gale, there you are! And… who’s this?”
Gale nodded towards the pretty brunette he had an arm slung around. “This is Tia.”
“Oh.” Peter blinked for a second of just knowing something was going to hit the proverbial fan before the night was over, but quickly smiled and took her hand. “Charmed, Tia. I’m Peter. You guys, join the party!”
Their entrance into the living room area and the general swing of things was not dramatic. There were a few jovial shouts, much like Norm walking through the door at Cheers, at the sight of Gale. The sight of him with a date was not surprising or given any kind of pause. Except by one.
To Randy, everything seemed to slow and magnify. Gale was there, laughing, his arm glued around some woman. Though, to be fair, Gale probably had to keep his arm around her… so that she didn’t tip over.
When Gale finally looked over at him, their eyes had about fifty knock-down drag-outs in what was probably five seconds. And, though not in accordance with usual staring contest rules, Randy looked away first and thereby declared himself the winner. He celebrated both that and his birthday by going to the kitchen for more alcohol.
He heard Simon say, “He’s here,” in his ear, like he should be happy now. Then Simon was off hosting again and Randy was knocking back a shot of… what the fuck… Goldschlager? Like a cinnamon punch in the face. With little gold sparklies. How festive. How gay.
People floated in and out of the kitchen, and he smiled and talked to them, but mostly he was hiding from his own party. After about ten minutes, he peeked out and saw Simon. Talking to Gale and Miss November. Fucking lovely. Then Simon saw him seeing them and waved him over. Shit.
“Randy, come say hello!”
Fake smile. One foot after the other. “Hi… Gale.” He turned to her. “And you would be?”
Gale cleared his throat. “Tia, this is Randy.”
She shook Randy’s hand enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you.” She leaned into Gale and lowered her voice somewhat, but not nearly enough. “I don’t know why you were reluctant to come here. Seems like a great party.” Then she addressed Randy again, oblivious. “Is there some occasion, or are we just having fun just because?”
“Is there some…?” Randy spoke slowly, in case he’d misunderstood. “It’s a birthday party. My birthday?”
“Oh, it is? Happy birthday!” She gestured questioningly at Gale. “Where’s your present?”
Gale shrugged and looked right at the birthday boy. “I already gave it to him.”
***
“Would you stop ignoring me? Rand… Randy!”
“What?”
“I… What do you want for your birthday?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on.”
“In place of that night, I want *nothing*. And I want us to go on with our lives like nothing happened, because that’s all that did.”
“…Okay.”
***
Blue eyes begged, but they didn’t know for what.
“Excuse me. Other guests.” Randy suddenly mumbled an excuse and walked away before he crumbled. He darted around people, hoping they didn’t notice he wasn’t talking to any of them.
Scott caught his arm. “Randy, you okay? You’re too young to look so stressed on your birthday.”
“I’m fine, fine. You want something to drink?”
“It’s your party! I’ll get you a drink,” Scott laughed.
Randy shook his head quickly and veered off from everyone, towards the bedroom, opening the closed door and then shutting himself inside.
Breathe… in… out…
Not a minute later, a brief knock, and Simon ducked in as well.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Sorry. Just… needed a moment. A breather, I guess.”
“Is this to do with Gale and that girl?”
“No.” Just Gale. “Although… they obviously do a lot of talking, right? She didn’t even know the party was for me! He didn’t bother to mention it!”
“And that hurts you?”
“No! I mean…” He switched to righteous indignation. “Yes!”
“Why?”
Randy opened his mouth. Shut it. “We’re supposed to be friends. Why wouldn’t he mention me?”
“Precisely.”
Randy felt the need to backtrack, but he didn’t even know what he’d said. “What? Simon…”
“Never mind. Just… stay in here for a while, if you want,” Simon sighed.
“What about…?”
“I am host extraordinaire. I can certainly keep everyone entertained without your help.”
Randy laughed softly, more a sound of relief. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to go to your thinking place?”
“Probably. I mean, not that I have a lot to think about, or anything. Just to sit for a few minutes.”
“You do that.”
Just outside the bedroom, Simon rested a moment against the wall. The plan for Randy to relax was not working, and he supposed he had known it wouldn’t. He’d known for a while that Randy was consumed with something, someone, that wouldn’t just go away.
So, the plan had to change. Three people had been living in the land of denial, and Simon accepted that he would have to be the one to leave first.
***
“Gale, could you get something for me?”
Gale quirked an eyebrow at Simon’s head, which was stuck through the balcony door and wearing an awkward grin. If not for the use of his name, he would have been looking behind him. He put out his cigarette and walked back inside, curious at what Simon might possibly want from him.
“Need me to run to the store? Short on booze?”
“No, nothing like that. I just want to stay out here and keep Randy occupied until we start with the gifts, and mine is on the top shelf of the bedroom closet. Could you grab it for me?”
Gale didn’t really understand, and started to ask why, but instead just bobbled his head in what-the-fuck acceptance. “What does it look-”
“Oh, you’ll know it!”
Okaaayy.
***
Maybe if Gale hadn’t been so busy thinking that the last thing he wanted to do was to go fetch Randy’s perfect boyfriend’s perfect present, he would have noticed that Randy was not out there, amongst the guests, where Simon supposedly wanted to stay with him. But he didn’t.
So, he made his way into the bedroom, trying not to look at the bed (and think of disgusting things that had happened there, or delicious things that hadn’t), and turned into the walk-in closet.
“What are you doing??”
Gale was greeted by an affronted-looking Randy, sitting on the floor at the back of the closet, arms on his knees.
“What am I doing? You’re sitting in a-… Look, I just came to get something.” Gale looked to the top shelf and saw shoes, hats, piles of books, but nothing wrapped. Nothing that was obviously a present.
“What exactly do you need out of my closet, Gale? A kicky chapeau?”
“No, it’s time for you to open presents, and-” Gale paused… Huh. “You’re not out there.”
“Brilliant deduction.”
“He said…”
“Who?”
“Simon.”
“Did I hear my name?”
Gale and Randy’s attention zoomed to the voice coming through the now closed door. Randy stood up. Gale reached for the doorknob, only to find it also now… locked. He twisted it shallowly, back and forth, in vain.
“What the fuck?”
“Gale, did you lock us in ?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“No, he didn’t. I did.”
“Simon, what’s going on?” Randy was confused. “Could you open the door?”
“I don’t think so. Not yet.”
“What do you mean, ‘Not yet’?!”
“I mean, you two need a time-out, of sorts.”
“WHAT? Simon, we’re not two-year-olds!” Randy glanced at Gale. “At least, I’m not.”
“I know you’re not. You’re two grown men who… obviously have some things to talk about.”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
Even in the midst of trying to figure out what was happening, Gale couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how NOT like a two-year-old Randy sounded.
“All the more reason you need to talk. Randy… it used to worry me, when we first got together, how much you smiled when you talked about Gale. Just how much you talked about Gale. Lately, you talk about him even more than you used to. You’re complaining about him, and you’re definitely not smiling, but it’s not any less worrying. Now, I don’t know what happened…”
Randy and Gale’s eyes met briefly and then darted away guiltily.
“…I don’t need to. But you two are staying in there until it’s worked out. Kiss and make up or fight to the death. Something’s got to give.”
They were too stunned to argue Simon’s words. They heard his footsteps walking away, and his voice, resigned.
“This is probably the best and the very worst idea I have ever had.”
***
“So, Tia, how long have you and Gale been dating?” Thea asked politely.
“Oh.” Tia thought about it for a second and shrugged. “A couple of hours, I guess.”
Thea and Scotty blinked a few times, then smiled and nodded.
“That’s nice.”
“You know… you guys look really familiar.” Tia scanned the crowd. “And him… and her… and him, too… Have I seen you all somewhere before?”
“You mean, besides the show?”
“What show?”
Hal walked up. “You mean your date didn’t mention he’s the star of a TV show?”
“No. But I don’t own a TV, anyway… Oh, yeah, I recognize you guys now!”
“So you have seen it?”
“No, you guys have come to the bar a few times! The Moose Head?”
“Yes, I believe we have. You’re…”
“I’m a bartender there! I was working earlier, and then Gale came in, and he was really down, and I actually watered down his drinks -- shh, don’t tell -- ‘cause I didn’t think alcohol would help, you know… and then he invited me here!”
The gang barely had a chance to react to that before Simon reemerged, all forced cheer.
“Who’s up for some party games?”
“Uh… where’s Randy?” Michelle asked. She couldn’t remember having seen him for the last half hour.
“He’s in the bedroom closet with Gale,” Simon replied, matter-of-factly.
Hal snorted. Peter thwapped him lightly on the back of the head.
“I locked them in there.”
Thea asked the sixty-four-thousand dollar question. “…Why?”
“I’m sure you all have noticed, not only how unnaturally attached to each other they’ve always been, but that they are now barely speaking. I’m forcing them to deal with each other, and whatever the result, I will live with it… Would anyone like cake?”
“Wait… so Gale’s in the closet-”
Hal snorted again, louder. This time, he got a double thwap from Peter and Michelle.
“-with the birthday guy?”
“Sorry about that, Tia, but it had to be done.” Meanwhile, Simon had delved into the hall closet and stood clutching a stack of board games. “Who’s a fan of Guesstures?”
***
(This is just about where we came in…)
“This is ridiculous.”
“Agreed. Who the fuck has a closet you can’t open from inside?”
Randy’s glare was enough to melt your face. “Not what I meant by ‘ridiculous,” and really not a helpful question right now.”
“I’m pretty sure the word applies in multiple ways.”
The closet, end to end, could be walked in three strides. Gale now sat with his back against the door, Randy back in his original spot. They were as far apart as they could be in the relatively small space, faced off.
“I’m not talking to you.”
“Then get comfy, ‘cause I don’t think your boyfriend’s letting us out of here until we do… That’s a strange one you found, Rand.”
“Ha! Hahaha… Ha.”
“What the fuck was that?”
“Me trying to contain my hysterical laughter at you calling anybody ‘strange.’”
“……”
“Oh, stop with the pouty face, Gale! You can’t pull that off.”
“I’m not-… Just saying, I never locked you in a closet. On your birthday. At a party in your honor.”
“Believe me, I have no intention of talking to him anytime soon, either.”
They were silent for a few minutes. Randy mentally debated pounding on the door and screaming until one of his kind guests showed up to liberate him. Gale was trying not to be happy at the situation he found himself in, but he had just known Randy would manage to ignore him all night, and he couldn’t help but be a little delighted to see the man so fucking thrown.
“What are you smiling at?”
And maybe it showed on his face.
“Nothing.”
And maybe that bugged the crap out of Randy.
“Are you and Simon in on this together or something? Is this some big joke I don’t get?” he yelled. “…Why are you STILL SMILING???”
“Because at least you’re getting angry at me! That’s better than the fucking polite strangers routine!”
Gale wasn’t really smiling anymore, and Randy’s eyes were wide, and the air shook a little with new weight. They both took a breath, a beat, and resigned themselves to their strange circumstance and the necessity of it.
“We’ve been getting through at work, but… just barely,” Randy admitted.
“Tell me about it.”
Gale meant that literally, as well as figuratively, and waited for Randy to say more… but got nothing. The party’s music filtered in, not at all loud, but very clear in their silence. Gale started singing along.
Randy gave him such a dirty look, so fast. Gale started singing a little louder, and then stopped to say...
“By the way, if you want me to stop pissing all over the songbook of Mr. Rufus Wainwright, you might want to talk to me.”
“Fine. Let’s talk.”
“You first.”
“It’s my birthday. You go first.”
Gale ran a hand through his hair and counted to ten. “All right.”
***
The party stumbled on.
A rousing game of Guesstures was taking place, with some beloved crew members putting the actors to shame.
The guessing got louder a few times, by design. When Gale and Randy’s voices did so to the point that all the guests could hear every word shouted.
Out of courtesy to Simon… to the poor girl who was now making drinks… and to the two men in question, they felt they should make a conscious effort to not listen. In between turns, people faked coughs and looked at each other awkwardly.
Since pretty much every one of them wanted nothing more than to let out with a mighty “SHHHHHH!” and be very still and quiet and take in every single sound emanating from that bedroom closet. Fuck, take it in and take notes on it.
Because, seriously. This was Gale and Randy. It had been a long time coming… whatever exactly “it” was… and there were long-time bets to be settled.
***
“Why did you stop having anything to do with me?”
“That’s obviously inaccurate. I see you all the time.”
“Yeah, at work… You stopped talking to me except when you had to.”
“Invited you to this party, didn’t I? And aren’t you SO glad I did?” Randy hoped you couldn’t drown in your own sarcasm.
“Okay, new question. Why’d you get weird?”
“Why did I ‘GET WEIRD’?”
Randy did fucking air quotes.
“Would you be so kind as to define, ‘get weird’?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Then you know why.”
“No. No, I know when, and maybe what, but I really don’t know why.”
Randy almost said one of those ridiculous things women say… and okay, maybe some gay men… when they’re in a fight with their boyfriend but the boyfriend doesn’t know what they did wrong. Like, “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.” But then Gale said…
“Was it really that bad?”
Gale’s voice was small, and a little sad, and Randy stared at him.
“What?”
This time, Gale just shrugged and looked away.
The man didn’t mean “bad,” as in wrong, which it had been… He meant “bad,” as in unenjoyable??
“Are you kidding? Gale, we almost- I almost- C’mon, you felt…”
Remembering that night, the words skidded to a halt on Randy’s tongue in a rush of new anger. He wasn’t going to waste time or breath assuring Gale of his body’s reaction to him. Gale was the one who- who…
“You stopped! YOU. You couldn’t get out of there fast enough. So why are you acting like the injured party?”
“You mean, when you’re…” Gale scooted just an inch or two, slowly, towards Randy. “…the injured party?”
“No.” Randy eyed Gale warily.
“I don’t want anybody to be injured.”
Randy felt his heart warm, in spite of itself, at Gale’s dorky choice of words, and it made him want to kick something.
“Especially you. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you cheat on Simon. You wouldn’t forgive yourself. That’s why I stopped.”
Randy grabbed a nearby hoodie, disrupted its neat folding, and pressed it to his face, muffling a scream of frustration.
“Yeah,” he muttered as he dropped it. “I kind of figured that.”
“And for that, you hate me?”
“You know I don’t hate you. But I’ll tell you why I’ve been so pissed.”
Gale nodded, waited.
“One, no matter the circumstances, and no matter if you should be relieved that things didn’t go as far as they could have, being the one rejected always hurts.”
“I didn’t rej-”
“Ah ah!” Randy held up his hand in a silencing (and mildly threatening) gesture. “And two…” He sighed, long and heavily. “Do you know how shitty it feels to not be the one to remember in that moment that you have a boyfriend and try to save your relationship? Do you know how much I hate that you had to do that for me? That I wasn’t the one to stop?”
“Rand…”
“And I got really mad at you just because you could stop, and I don’t even know if I could have!”
“Rand…”
“So, either you’re stronger than I am, or you just didn’t want me as much as-…”
“Rand.”
So caught up was he in his emotional catharsis… some would say ranting and raving… otherwise known as queening… that he didn’t notice Gale’s movement until suddenly hazel eyes were right in front of him. And dark rose lips.
“It’s neither one of those things. Trust me.”
Then mouth covered mouth and they were silent.
***
Peter, Scotty, Thea and Michelle were a tiny bit drunk. Scratch that. Actually, Thea was a bit drunk, Michelle and Peter were just in the vicinity of tipsy, and Scotty was the awesomely sober designated driver.
But they were all equal levels of curious. And huddled together in the small hallway outside the bedroom.
“This almost feels like that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel are breaking up and the other four are in the other room, listening to the whole thing,” Peter whispered.
Thea’s hand went to her heart. “Oh, that was so sad.”
“Yeah, uh, except they were kind of trapped and didn’t have a choice but to hear everything, whereas we are sneaking closer and purposely trying to,” Michelle pointed out.
“Right. But other than that, it’s the same.” Scotty shook his head and reached up to pat Peter’s head.
“I want to be Phoebe,” Thea giggled.
“If we weren’t trying to keep quiet, I would fight you for that title.” Peter made a playful boxing motion.
“Should we feel guilty about this?”
“I might feel a little guiltier if I were actually hearing anything.”
“Wait, you’re right. They were yelling before, but now… it’s all quiet.”
“Tooooo quiet.”
“What do you think it means?”
“Well, either they killed each other, or…”
There was a thud. Not very loud. Just kind of like the sound of, oh, a body being pressed firmly against a wall.
“…or…”
There was a moan. Some definite heavy breathing.
“…or that.”
“Ooh. I think things are going better than they did for Ross and Rachel.”
“Hey, what are you guys up to?”
“Shhh, we can’t hear Gale and R-…… Oh… oops.”
“Hi, Tia.”
***
Okay, maybe they weren’t completely silent.
Randy was wedged into a back corner of the closet by Gale’s arms and chest and kisses. Kisses hot and wet and continuous. Lips grateful to be pushing and pulling and tasting, not spitting out hurtful words, or words polite but cold.
One of his coats had slipped halfway off its hanger above them and the zipper kept hitting Randy in the face, so he tilted sideways to avoid it. He tilted and Gale tilted with him until they were both horizontal, lying on the floor.
Maybe it took having Gale on top of him. That night, Randy had been the one on top. But now, warm weight was pressing him into the carpet… pile slightly burning the skin of his back, where his shirt was pushed up… and his brain remembered where they were. Where and how and what was going on a couple of rooms away. His hand already in Gale’s hair, he gripped and tugged just enough too hard that it detached their mouths.
“Gale… we can’t…”
Gale panted and his eyes tried to focus. But he knew Randy was right. He pushed himself up and off, sitting carefully, arms wrapped around his legs, pants feeling really fucking uncomfortably tight. Offering a hand to Randy, who used it to pull up, then positioned himself similarly. Both smoothing their hair and straightening clothing.
Gale tucked in his lower lip, holding in a chuckle. And was hit in the ear by a flying baseball cap. “Ow.”
“What’s funny?”
“I was thinking… that was the best Seven Minutes in Heaven ever.”
Randy smiled, but only for a second. “It’s really not funny. Simon. Simon is right out there, keeping all my friends entertained solo because I needed to sulk. And what am I doing?”
“He’s keeping your friends entertained solo because he locked you in a closet.”
“Fuck, still… I’m a bad person. Very bad person. And he got you peanut butter and banana fritters!”
“Guess that means I’m a bad person, too. But, Rand…” Gale chanced touching Randy’s knee, and smiled proudly. “You remembered. And you stopped. You stopped.”
“I did.” Randy smiled again, almost, and placed his hand over Gale’s. “But, being honest, finally… I want to start again. So, now what do I do?”
***
The party was… yeah… over.
Peter had taken Simon aside. Not to tell him anything overheard, but just to check on how he was doing. He seemed to know without knowing, and Peter wondered how long that had been the case when he saw him pull out a small suitcase he had tucked away, already packed.
He said it was time to return to New York. He asked Peter to tell everyone thank you for coming and be sure they found their way to their respective homes. He pressed two items into Peter’s palm and gave specific instructions for each. Sad smile as he slipped quietly out of the apartment. And their host was gone.
Peter enlisted Scotty’s help in breaking up what remained of the party. Calling an end to Cranium, at which Bobby was kicking everybody’s ass. Pulling Hal away from Tia and saving her from the joke avalanche that was his version of flirting. Making sure all had transportation.
“Tia, hon, do you need a ride?”
“Hmm. Looks like it.” She held up the new drink she had invented. “This is called, um… a Gay Date! Don’t remember what’s in it. But that’s why it’s called that, ‘cause… SURPRISE!” She took a rather large swig.
“I was going to ask what she heard,” Peter whispered to Scott. “But I guess… enough.”
While Scotty batted Hal away from her, insisting his car was full, Bobby stepped up and offered Tia a ride. She looked him in the eyes and squinted.
“Are you gay?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Thank you,” she said, and took his arm. “See? I just want to KNOW!”
They left, and guests continued to filter out in a slow but steady drip. Amongst the goodbyes and the getting of coats and such, a tall figure floated, unnoticed, to a door… and turned a silent key.
***
“I’ve missed you, Rand.”
Randy shared the sentiment, so much, but he couldn’t quite rid himself of snark. “Is that why you brought your, uh… security blanket out there?”
“Fuck.” Gale had forgotten. “Tia. I kind of abandoned her, didn’t I?”
“Pretty rude, I must say. But she’ll forgive you, right?”
Gale shrugged. “She just met me.”
“What?”
“She’s… a friend. She’s a good listener.”
“What exactly did she listen to? She didn’t even know who I was or what the party-”
“And a professional provider of liquid courage.”
“She’s a bartender?”
“Yep.”
“You met her…”
“Right before I came here. I, uh, needed a little liquid courage.”
“And then you decided you needed… silicone courage?”
“Hey, come on. She’s a nice girl.”
“You’re right. She did seem nice.”
“And, FYI, she mostly listened to me doing some general moping. About how life sucked and that I didn’t want to go to a party because I didn’t have heat vision.”
“You are so weird.” Randy stretched out one of his legs and hooked an ankle around Gale’s. “Yeah, I missed that. I’m… sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Gale wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
“It’s not just because of this… that… what just happened, that I’m a bad person. I’ve been cold and… mean, really, to you. And lukewarm and barely there with Simon.”
“Any ideas on why that is?”
“Probably because I wanted something I couldn’t have.”
“Maybe you can.”
“Can I?” Randy looked pointedly at Gale and their surroundings. “You look rather comfortable here in this closet, you know.”
Gale smiled, knowingly and almost shyly. “Well, it’s cozy, but not really somewhere to live. I’m ready to get out of here any time. If you’re with me.”
“It can’t be that easy.”
“The things that are really crazy worth it usually aren’t.”
Then three things happened in rapid succession. 1) Randy lunged at Gale and stuck his tongue down his throat. 2) They crashed against the closet door. 3) They fell through said door.
They blinked at each other, slightly dazed, from where they lay on the bedroom floor. The door had indeed swung open. They were free.
“What happened? Did we do that?”
“Uh, we’re good, but… I think somebody unlocked the door.”
“Is the party over?… HELLO?” Randy called out but got only eerie silence in response. “Did you hear everybody leave?”
“I guess I wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on outside.”
“Yeah, me neither… Simon?”
They walked out to the living area to find it empty of people. Only the evidence of a party remained, including a pile of unopened presents on the coffee table.
“Rand, take a look at this.”
Next to the presents was a key. Underneath that, an envelope with Randy’s name on it. Gale handed it to him, knowing it was from Simon, and then wandered away to give Randy privacy while he read. He cleaned up a little, trying not to be afraid of what it might contain or how it might change Randy’s thinking. After a few minutes, he drifted back close enough to see Randy set the letter down, his face slightly wet. Gale got as close as he could and wrapped his arms around him.
“I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. And he made it so I didn’t have to.”
“You okay?”
“More than I should be.”
“I know you feel guilty, but… he must have known. I mean, he must’ve had an idea what might happen.”
“He did. He said. God, he was just too fucking smart for me.” Randy shook his head fondly. “Loved me enough to let me go.”
“It’s tough. I know,” Gale breathed into Randy’s hair. “Hell, that’s what I’ve been trying to do the last couple of- years.”
They got very still for a second, both realizing what Gale had sort of said. Then Randy started them lightly swaying together. Music was still playing softly.
“Dance with me.”
“It’s still your birthday for another… ah, twenty minutes or so, so I guess I have to say yes, huh?”
They danced, but mostly held. And Randy nearly fell asleep, face in Gale’s chest.
“You still breathing?”
“Mmhmm. Long day. Bizarre but… good.”
“I like that assessment. There’s just one thing that worries me.”
“Gale, if you utter the word ‘fraternization,’ I will step on your foot so hard…”
“No, fuck that. I’m just trying to figure out what kind of freak goes and sits in a closet to think.”
“Oh yeah? Where do you go to think? Or is that even something you do?”
“My car, thank you very much.”
“A car. Yes, that’s much better than a closet.”
“Hey, at least it’s got a radio. Not to mention, I can open it from the inside.”
“I’m going to shut you up now.”
Randy did, in a way that Gale did not at all mind.
Gale stayed. They danced and slept and talked and cleaned and slept and occasionally made out like crazy. They didn’t have sex, but that was okay. It was enough that what they could never have had become what they could, and fucking would. Randy had been given what he wanted and needed for his birthday, by both Simon and Gale.
Sometime the next morning, they found a little gift of sorts from their friends as well. At some point during the party, an intense game of Scrabble must have broken out. And maybe no one saved them any fritters, but there on the board, spelled out in the tiles, were their names, written as one. And one more word…
FINALLY
