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Title: Sounds of a Sick Randy
Author: wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Gale/Randy
Prompt: Sick. [livejournal.com profile] freakykat is not feeling the greatest and gave me that prompt and asked me to write her a G/R drabble to make her feel better.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 350
Disclaimer: They've never had this conversation... most likely. Oh, and I stole from everywhere on this, lol. I'll point it out at the end.
Summary: Gale calls Randy, who is under the weather and a bit hopped up on meds, lol.



Sounds of a Sick Randy
by AHS


“Hullo?”

“Rand, hey-”

“Oh, it’s you.” *cough* *wheeze*

“Hello to you, too.”

“Sorry. No, I’m glad it’s you. It’s jus’, I can be sick with you.”

“Sounds like you’re already there.”

“I don’t have to feignd wellndess with you, like I would if you were someoned from my show. Not tha’ show. M’play show.”

Feignd wellndess?

“Don’t be meand, Gale, shut up.” *sniffle*

“Ahh, I get it. Like when you say, ‘I’m find,’ it means you’re definitely not fine. You’re a sick puppy, Harrison.”

“Nothing is keeping me off that stage tomorrow but…” *sneeze* “…I shouldn’t have to act when I’m ind my ownd bed.”

“Guess that depends on the quality of the guys you bring home… Ba-dum-bum… chh.”

“Oh my God, you are such a dork… I need to start finding that sad not fundy.” *laugh* *cough* *coughing fit*

“You okay there?”

“…I’m thinking of throwing my head away.”

“No, save it, we’ll make soup.”

“Oh fuck you…” *giggle* *cough* *hack* *sniffly-wheeze* “Laughing does NOT make me feel better, Gale. It just makes my head pound more and my throat hurt more and everything… oogier.”

“Good word.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, I guess what I called for won’t help either.”

“Whad you call for?”

“Phone sex.”

*wheeze* “…That would be a no way ind hell.”

“Drat.”

“Did you really call for phoned sex?”

“Nah, but you sound so sexy when you’re about to hack up a lung, it put it in my head.”

“Couldn’t endyway. Would be weird. The cats have me surrounded.”

“Aw, they’re comforting you.”

“No, don’t be fooled. As soond as I pass out they are going to eat me, I know it.”

“How much Nyquil have you had?”

“Oned adult plus oned twelve and under for good measure.” *unidentified sick sound*

“What the fuck was that? That was like a… snorgle.”

“Good word.”

“Thank you.”

“Sounds like a sex thing. Have we doned that oned?”

“Say goodnight, Randy.”

“Goodnight, Randy!”

“Orange juice, zinc, sleep. And stare at my picture until you are healed.”

“I will.” *cough* “Gale?”

“Yessir?”

“I’ll be better soond. Call back.”

“Yes, sir.”


Author's note: Being surrounded by cats and the concept of ooginess, I got those from stuff [livejournal.com profile] freakykat said, which I thought was appropriate, lol. The joke about saving the head to make soup I stole from the brilliant and too short-lived 90's sitcom, Ned & Stacey. The "find"/"fine" bit is only a slight variation of something Ross said on Friends. Yet, through all that pilfering, I feel happily creative. Gale/Randy. It's a miracle. Love you, Kat!
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