human, a dialogue-only g/r ficlet

[wouldbedorothy]

Title: Human
Author: wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Rating: PGish
Series/Sequel: probably not, though I guess we'll see after the second episode, lol
Summary: Randy calls Gale after watching his first Grey's Anatomy episode.  Dialogue-only.  790 words.
Author's Notes: I finally watched last week's Grey's and this came out.  Title sucks, lol, but was all I could think of.  Didn't want to call it The Grey's Anatomy Call! ;)  Oh, and the "hit/shit" thing came from something Fran Drescher's agent used to say... Don't ask, lol.
Disclaimer: I don't know Gale or Randy (or Simon, Chandra Wilson, or TR Knight), so anything I say is out of my rather odd head.

Human
by AHS
 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hello, and what the fuck, Rand?”

“……”

“Oh… yeah, I’m on Grey’s Anatomy.”

“I know. I saw it. Did I see it because you told me about it? No. I saw it because Peter called this morning, asking me if I was excited about seeing you. I got my hopes up for a second, thinking you were coming back to New York, before I found out he meant on TV.”

“Sorry. You’re so busy all the time, and I guess I would’ve felt like an ass, calling just to be like, ‘I finally got a part! Watch me, watch me!’ You don’t even like TV.”

“Give me a fucking break, Gale. You know I want to see anything you’re in. Even better if it’s actually good, and Grey’s Anatomy is a quality show.”

“You really watched it?”

“Yes, I did.”

“It hasn’t even been on here yet. So… was I shit in a hit? Should I return to my more recent pattern of being, according to you, a hit in shit?”

“Cute, Dr. Seuss. But fishing for compliments doesn’t become you.”

“I’m not-… nevermind.”

“You were brilliant.”

“…Okay, that’s a bit much, Rand.”

“Since when do I bullshit you? The writing was good, but the majority of that character’s complexity came from you… from those facial expressions of yours. Not like you haven’t done it before.”

“Done what?”

“Made a character that should by all rights be a hateful asshole come across as, just… human. Even occasionally endearing.”

“I’ll ignore the dig at you-know-who… You’re saying I did that?”

“Well, I’ve never wanted to hug a white supremacist before.”

“You wanted to hug me?”

“Once or twice. You did a really good job with the conflict coming from… Mr. Polite Nazi.”

“Good one. Chandra called me the Friendly Fascist… that and Hottie Hitler… She’s funny. Everybody was really nice.”

“Did you talk to TR Knight much?”

“Not a lot, but some. Why?”

“Just wondered.”

“He didn’t ask about you, if that’s what you were hoping.”

“Shut up.”

“He was pretty quiet, actually.”

“Probably because he’s jerked off thinking about you on numerous occasions… Then again, who hasn’t?”

“Uh huh… how is Simon?”

“Right. Well played, sir… He’s good.”

“He didn’t watch the show, did he?”

“No, he thinks it’s shit. The show itself, I mean. He saw an episode once and just kept saying all those doctors would be sued for malpractice on day two for having sex with each other on top of their patients.”

“Ha, he actually can be funny from time to time.”

“So generous with your faint praise.”

“Yeah, well… nobody was having sex on top of me.”

“Maybe the swastika was a turnoff.”

“Probably.”

“…I know you’ve done worse, but I also know a role like that is tough on you. It’s so opposite of who you are.”

“Unlike…?”

“Obviously you weren’t Brian. But this is different. There’s no hate in you.”

“I just don‘t like people, right?”

“Would you hush and let me compliment you for two minutes?”

“If I have to.”

“You challenge yourself all the time. You purposely go out of your comfort zone. I admire the hell out of you for that… among other things.”

“Maybe, uh… you’ll get to play a Nazi soon.”

“I do have the Aryan look.”

“That’s not how I would describe your look, Rand.”

“…You look good, by the way. Haven’t seen you in a while. It was nice to.”

“Nah. I am old, Father William.”

“Bullshit. You’re beautiful as ever.”

“…You liked me in my little surgical bonnet, didn’t you?”

“Oh, the indignities… Yes, I did.”

“I had it easy. At least I wasn’t one of the guys hanging upside down in the ambulance.”

“Oh, God, yeah. That was… sad. Maybe a little cheesy, but I guess…”

“…so is life sometimes. I wasn’t around when they were doing that, but the script was rough.”

“I’m glad that wasn’t you. I don’t really enjoy watching you die.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t me, too. That was emotional shit. To get it right, I probably would’ve had to imagine the other actor was you…… Rand?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you to stop underestimating yourself or just say… thanks, Gale.”

“I’ll take the thanks and send it back to ya.”

“…You know I love you best.”

“Yeah, I do. I love you… weirdest.”

“Yeah, you do… Um, I’ll call again after I see the second one next week.”

“Two weeks. It’s not on for two weeks.”

“What?”

“I think they’re stretching it out because of the writer’s strike.”

“Right. Shit. Okay then, you call me next week.”

“What for?”

“Just because.”

“…I can do that… Bye, Rand.”

“Bye, Gale.”

 

Comments

[wouldbedorothy.livejournal.com]

Did you read the second one first and the first one second? lol

I'm sorry if all my comments look the same. Obviously, I think you're awesome.

I'm completely okay with you just telling me I'm awesome over and over again ;-b