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wouldbedorothyAuthor:
wouldbedorothy (AHS)Fandom: Gale Harold/Randy Harrison
Rating: PG-13
Series/Sequel: just this (at least until next year, lol)
Summary: Set 1st season Christmas. One of the boys has Santa issues (guess which one, lol) and the other tries to fix it. It's short, cute and silly. 1300 words.
Author's Notes: Sorry I couldn't get it posted before Christmas, but my HP took longer than I thought. I wrote this on a plane on Christmas Eve, but then had no online access for the next few days. Christmas GR fic requested by
freakykat. Oh, and I totally make up Gale's mom as I go along, and I change her however I need her from story to story, lol.Disclaimer: I don't know Gale or Randy or any of their family members or basically anything :-P Not actual events.
Somebody Has Santa Issues
by AHS
“Gale.”
“………”
“Gale…”
“………”
“Gale, you’re not even stoned, so snap out of your haze, please.”
Randy delivered a gentle kick to one of the long legs under his, stretched out to the coffee table, finally obtaining its owner’s attention.
“What?”
“What is the deal with you and Santa Claus?”
Gale blinked slowly at his couch companion and forced a shrug. “There’s no deal.”
“Yes, there is. The other day, when Joe put that Santa hat and beard on camera two, you didn’t even crack a smile.”
“After the strap-on and chains they managed to put on camera one that time… seemed kinda boring.”
“And today, when you put money in that Salvation Army Santa’s bucket, it was like you had to force yourself to do it. You didn’t say anything to him, no ‘Merry Christmas’… barely even slowed down.”
“It was fucking cold, Rand. I just wanted to… keep walking, get inside.”
“Well, now we’re inside, warm and toasty in my apartment.” Extra toasty from being curled up together. “Watching Miracle on 34th Street, because it’s a Christmas classic… and next week I’ll be watching corny, heartwarming shit like this with my family, and you’ll be off… doing whatever. And every time I see you start to smile at sweet, old Kris Kringle, you immediately get this guilty look on your face. What gives?” Randy had an impossible thought. “Please tell me you‘ve seen this movie before.”
“Yeah, I have… once.”
“Once? How do you manage to only see Miracle on 34th Street once in your whole life? They show it every year, incessantly. Next you’ll be telling me you’ve only seen It’s a Wonderful Life once!”
“No, I saw that one a lot… It had angels in it. It was approved.”
“Huh?” Randy lifted his head from Gale’s shoulder, very confused. “What do you mean, approved?”
“My mother didn’t believe in the Santa shit, mostly ‘cause it takes focus off Jesus.” Gale took Randy’s hand, making ticklish, invisible scribbles on the palm with a fingertip, and spoke in a voice Randy could only guess was his mother‘s. “And, you know, you rearrange the letters… spells ‘Satan’.”
“Holy fucking…” He’d known Gale was raised in a really religious household, but he hadn’t known it was that… insane. “Are you kidding?”
“Nah. We weren’t allowed to watch a lot of those movies… I saw it at a friend’s house when I was eight… but I was so worried I was going to hell, I couldn’t really enjoy it all that fucking much.”
“So… you didn’t grow up believing in Santa at all? Where did you think your presents came from?… Gale, please tell me you got presents.”
“Quit picturing me as some tortured kid from a Dickens novel.” Gale poked a thumb in Randy’s cheek, wanting to erase the worry. “Relax. I got presents… from my parents… as long as it was understood they were a reverent celebration of Jesus’ birthday.” He winked.
“I guess that’s… nice. It is what Christmas is… So why does it sound so fucking sad?”
“Maybe it was… or is… a little bit.”
“Explains why you aren’t really very Christmas-y,” Randy decided. “You were bludgeoned over the head with the religious aspects, and the secular ones were completely demonized.”
“You talk pretty.”
Randy laughed… “You are pretty”… and kissed him quick. “I still think it’s a shame for you to hold it against Santa, though. Shouldn’t your rebel nature have made you his biggest supporter? Like it did with sex, drugs, and rock ‘n‘ roll?”
“I don’t have a problem with the fat man. Just… brings up some weirdness, is all… not like there’s not enough already on the surface…”
“Listen to me. You’re thirty-one years old. You can make your Christmas whatever you want it to be now. You can watch his movies, you can sing about him coming to town, you can even sit on his lap… Hey, that’s an idea!”
“Rand, no.”
“Let’s go to the mall, and you can see Santa and have a breakthrough!”
“I’ll get fucking arrested is what’ll happen… and like you fucking want to go to the mall!”
“Shit, no, but…”
“But what? What’s that smile for?”
“Oh… nothing. Really, nevermind.” Randy bit his lip, holding that thought. “Now, only two… hmm, one and a half fuck-me days before Christmas… You better get to it.”
Randy’s flight was on Sunday morning, so that left only tonight… and maybe the next day, if Randy even had time to see him. Gale would miss his costar/friend/fuck buddy… while he was gone.
He laughed at the bossy tone and accompanying hip swivels and followed Randy to the bedroom.
*****
The next day, Gale was changing his mind for the fourteenth time about whether he should actually visit his parents for Christmas, bug his sister and her family, or just fucking stay in Toronto all alone and pretend he liked it that way… when there was a knock at the door.
He opened it, and there was Randy… sort of.
“Ho, ho, ho! Have you been a good little boy?”
Randy wearing a Santa costume. The red and white, the wide black belt, the boots, sack, the hat (with blond hair peeking out), Randy‘s own little glasses… even the stuffing to make his slim waist appear round and jolly, which Gale poked with one finger. No white beard, thank goodness. And the rosy cheeks were all natural.
He looked so fucking cute.
“Or have you been a big… bad… boy?”
“What… are you doing?” Gale asked, pulling him inside and shutting the door. This vision of pillowy-lipped naughtiness and cartoon Christmas cheer was causing a serious conflict of mind and body.
“I wanted to give you a good Santa association.”
“If you’re trying to normalize me, you really think making me want to fuck Santa is the best way?”
“I would never try to normalize you, Gale. That would be tragic. I just wanted to give you a present.”
“Yeah? What?”
“Hmm, you’ll just have to reach inside and see… I have all sorts of fun toys in here… But first, sit on my lap and answer my question.” Randy pulled out a dining chair and landed heavily in it, patting his lap and grinning.
Gale dropped his eyes, but they were still smiling. Finally giving in, he slung one arm around soft red fur shoulders and sat himself sideways upon the (usually) smaller man’s thighs, leaning his weight against the padded stomach. He couldn’t even feel ridiculous, not with Randy the one dressed like that… grabbing at his ass… and possessing the blanketed but still teasingly hard cock now nestled against his hip.
“What was the question?”
“Have you been a good boy this year?” Santa Randy asked seriously.
“Hmm… no. I’ve been naked a lot,” Gale confessed. “I’ve spent months fake-fucking guys and letting people film it. I also started fucking my costar for real, and he’s so hot I don’t see myself stopping.”
“Like I said… you’ve been a big bad boy… This Santa likes those kind the best.”
At those wicked words, Gale decided it didn’t matter what he did for Christmas, because this would be the part he liked best. He jumped up and lifted Santa Randy into his arms… only slightly awkwardly… practically swallowing his mouth, while he impressively managed to still walk them to the bedroom, and Randy inexplicably managed to hum that “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” song… earning a pinch, speedy clothing and stuffing removal, some fun repositioning of the hat on more excited parts of his body, and a very merry Christmas fuck.
And that’s how Randy helped Gale work out his old issues with Santa… and develop some much more disturbing new ones.
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Date: 2007-12-29 03:51 am (UTC)*hugs*
Liz
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Date: 2007-12-29 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-29 03:56 am (UTC)Random question for you; I'm fairly new to the fandom and is there like, a particular article or picture or interview where Gale expresses his love for the 'juana, or is that just assumed? Just curious.
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Date: 2007-12-29 05:01 am (UTC)Um, lol... I don't honestly *know* of any interviews like that, although there's probably been something (maybe someone else can link)... I gleaned it from all the fic I read before I started writing. It does seem to be beyond "assumed," though... pretty well known :) It makes for a fun character trait, lol.
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Date: 2007-12-29 07:28 am (UTC)And yeah, Pothead!Gale is totally fun to read.
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Date: 2007-12-29 11:13 am (UTC)In the article with the Flaunt Mag in 2002 they wrote Gale said he smoked a bong before the interview. There's an extract on this somewhere on this site: http://www.geocities.com/bigbadvoodoodoubtee/gale_and_brian.html
Then there was an interview where he was asked what he does to relax and he answered: "Legally?..."
Hope that helps a little.
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Date: 2007-12-29 11:21 am (UTC)Yeah, I'm a bad fan. I think I love them too much. Not only do I get too nervous, somehow, to see Randy in a play or watch Gale's movies, but I get nervous even reading an interview, lol... so I haven't read many.
I might have to work to get over that, so as not to lose my GR goddess title.
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Date: 2007-12-29 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-29 11:36 am (UTC)*sigh*
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Date: 2007-12-29 12:20 pm (UTC)A Showtime Chat with Gale (where he was really, really weird, but so hilarious:
http://brian-kinney.net/gale.php?interview5
Funny interview with Gale:
http://brian-kinney.net/gale.php?interview2
and two links to Randy's questionnaires - he gives some really strange answers:
http://www.planetout.com/entertainment/interview.html?sernum=174
http://forums.jokersupdates.com/ubbthreads/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Board=qaf&Number=1146586&page=14&view=expanded&sb=5&o=&fpart=1
Have fun reading them!
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Date: 2007-12-30 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-29 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-29 11:12 am (UTC)I know, poor Gale and what I do to him. I don't know how likely to be true what I described, childhood-wise, actually is... but the more I thought about it, sure seemed possible. And yes, Santa Randy is too cute!
Thank you, Anna! I am happy to be back!
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Date: 2007-12-29 12:40 pm (UTC)I love SantaRandy, so cute and perfect, and sweet bearGale...very nice story, hun, thank you and have a good holidays and a happy slashy new year!!!!^^
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Date: 2007-12-30 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-29 01:13 pm (UTC)The idea of a Randy's Santa is soooooooooooooooo cute and sweet and wonderful and "warmmy" and... HE LOOKS GOOD IN RED, TOO... FUCK!
It's funny because here in Spain we are not supposed to have Santa either... as my father would say: "that fat ol' man is a Yankee’s invention so that the shops can sell twice as much"... but in fact, since I was a child we always have had Santa as well as the Three Wise Kings, who bring presents to children on the night of January, 5th and January, 6th is the Three Wise Men Day. But my mother always gave us something "from Santa" (it gave us more time to play and break than if we only had the Three Wise Kings' things because school starts the following day...). And, I have to admit, I've always loved Santa... but now, I loved his image even more!... even without the white beard but with the kid's face and cheeks!... so so so beautiful... and sweet and... YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
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Date: 2007-12-30 01:49 am (UTC)It kept me entertained on the plane, anyway!
Thank you, sweetie! Oh, and your dad sounds pretty wise, lol!
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Date: 2007-12-30 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-30 06:23 pm (UTC)“Explains why you aren’t really very Christmas-y,” Randy decided. “You were bludgeoned over the head with the religious aspects, and the secular ones were completely demonized.”
“You talk pretty.”
Randy laughed… “You are pretty”
Loved that part. Great fic!
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Date: 2007-12-30 07:14 pm (UTC)Thank you!!
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Date: 2008-01-05 05:22 am (UTC)Loves it :)
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Date: 2008-01-05 09:53 am (UTC)Thank you again! :)
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Date: 2011-10-01 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-01 07:43 am (UTC)Sorry for the drama! Hope the fics are helpfully distracting!