wouldbedorothy | bj song drabbles, batch 1

Title: BJ song drabbles, batch 1
Author:

wouldbedorothy (AHS)
Pairing: Brian/Justin (QAF-US)
Rating: PG13
Summary: Ten 100-word drabbles, each inspired while listening to a song. Each stands alone, POV changes, and timeline jumps around S1-5 (or beyond). I'll let you decide when they're set.
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
Author's note: Like with my GR drabbles, method was, I would pull ten songs randomly from my playlist, then look at the lists of ten and assign them to fandoms. This is my bastardization of the songfic meme that's become very popular lately, thanks to my dear and freakishly talented

freakykat (even if she didn't "invent" it, lol). Shout-out to her, and also

rromantic , for peeking and cheering :)

Songlist:
1) Love Song - 311
2) Love Is... - Ronna Jones
3) February Song - Josh Groban
4) End of the World - Blake Lewis
5) Piano Blink (Los Manlicious Remix) - Hawksley Workman
6) In My Arms (Scotty K Radio Edit) - Plumb
7) I Put a Spell On You - Sonique
8) Every Once in a While - Kurt Nilsen
9) The Flame - Cheap Trick
10) Touch of my Hand (Bill Hamel Remix) - Britney Spears

Drabble #1 - “Love Song,” 311

My stomach twisted into knots each time I left the loft.

Really, it was the same going up as down. Knowing it was no longer my home.

Brian… still felt like home. But he shouldn’t have. It made me angry sometimes, made me play the victim. Even though I was the one who cheated. Who left.

He didn’t blame me, make me suffer. That made me angrier. Took it to mean he didn’t care.

I was wrong before. I was still wrong.

My second chance had been waiting in his eyes for me to want to see it.

…I did.

*****

Drabble #2 - “Love Is…” Ronna Jones

Love is…

…Bullshit breeder myth. Not in your vocabulary, except to mock. Even in advertising, sex sells better.

…A boy’s dream. Ripe, sweet, to be crushed. And the moment of coming true you forget will only make the hurt worse.

…Pain that can’t be managed. Stronger than anything that tries to numb it or drown it out. Falling, breaking, over and over, but the blood isn’t yours.

…A reminder every time he smiles, there are so many ways left for you to lose him.

Love is… walking away, in the fucking rain, because you won’t tell him what love is.

*****

Drabble #3 - “February Song,” Josh Groban

It’s like when he was in the coma.

This thing, this… cozy little love affair of his…

Ethan is a fucking coma.

I just have to wait for Justin to wake up.

I can’t let him see me. Not hiding in the shadows this time, but… can’t let him see me waiting for him.

I know I was his first thought when he woke up in the hospital, even before “Where am I?” It’ll be true again.

It’s true for me. His face, every goddamned morning.

He forgot things a while, like before. But my boy’s a genius. He’ll remember.

*****

Drabble #4 - “End of the World,” Blake Lewis

“If you knew the world was ending in one hour, what would you do?”

I was young when I asked. Wanted declarations of eternal love. But the world wasn’t ending yet. Brian rolled his eyes, said he’d go out in a blaze of fuck, and I just hoped he meant with me.

Babylon blew up all around me tonight. I thought… this is it. The end.

Then Brian was there… giving me declarations, finally, and I knew it was, because he’d never say the words… if he’d have to face them.

But he did… and did.

World ended. Life began.

*****

Drabble #5 - “Piano Blink (Los Manlicious Mix),” Hawksley Workman

Kid’s bopping around my loft again. Loud ass song. Didn’t bother with fucking headphones this time.

Some of the lyrics register in my brain before I can turn it off. Fuck, they’re depressing. But the music’s the total opposite. Bouncy and happy. He’s singing and smiling.

I hide my smile before he turns around. Hit stop. Glare.

“You’re home!… Um, sorry.”

“Do you even know what you’re singing? A suicide attempt you can dance to.”

“Doesn’t matter… It’s like you.”

Huh?

“I know what it says. But I also know how it makes me feel. That means more.”

…Smart fucker.

*****

Drabble #6 - “In My Arms (Scotty K Radio Edit),” Plumb

“You sure?”

“…I’m ready.”

“Your subjects have been lost without you, Your Highness.”

My words were light, but his face darkened. He was imagining the attention he might get. Attention he didn’t want now.

There was no bat coming his way inside. He’d be among his own. But he’d been shying from touch, jumping at his own shadow for months. The lights, noise… grinding bodies… everything he loved before… was it too much?

Wrapped my arms around him. No plans to let go.

“Forget about them tonight. It’s you, me, music. You’re mine.”

Justin relaxed. Whispered, “Always have been.”

Mine.

*****

Drabble #7 - “I Put a Spell On You,” Sonique

My parents took me to a violin concert once. I snored. Loudly.

What drew me to Ethan wasn’t his music, but his artistic passion. An artist myself, I understood it. Thought that passion would… should translate well to love.

Brian… I felt his passion for me… I just felt mine for him too much.

Maybe more than he felt. Maybe more than I felt for my art. That scared me. I loved him so much, sometimes it hurt to breathe. He was everything.

I told him I needed more from him. But I left because I needed something… someone… less.

*****

Drabble #8 - “Every Once in a While,” Kurt Nilsen

Your reluctance to stop tricking completely was probably not for the expected reasons.

No tricking meant monogamy. Giving him everything he’d wanted since he was seventeen. Your need for sexual gratification outside of him… however infrequent, meaningless… could no longer threaten your relationship.

Therein lay the fear. Surrendering that last piece of yourself… and Justin leaving, anyway. Just fucking because. He outgrew you. Regretted you. No anonymous fucks to blame.

You refused to ever hear, “I thought this was what I wanted… I was wrong,” from him. Yet…

You stopped. With no regrets.

Seems you outgrew you before he could.

*****

Drabble #9 - “The Flame,” Cheap Trick

“Justin??”

“Hi.”

“Why are you calling at 3 in the fucking morning? I have work in-… You okay?”

“Yeah… I guess… Sorry.”

“Whatever. Goodnight.”

“Wait! I… can’t sleep.”

“So I’m not allowed to?”

“Miss you.”

“Christ… You saw me tonight!”

“At Woody’s. With everybody.”

“Not in the bathroom when you sucked me off.”

“I know. I loved that… But I miss the loft. Living with you. Sleeping with you.”

“Justin…”

“I know, but… do you miss me any?”

“……”

“Don’t hang up? Let me… hear you breathe?”

“…*sigh*”

“You can hear me… Might help you sleep, too… Night, Brian.”

“…...Night.”

*****

Drabble #10 - “Touch of my Hand (Bill Hamel Remix),” Britney Spears

I love when Brian grabs me from behind, starts dancing with me. How I feel him hard against my ass almost instantly.

Love even more when we’re facing each other, eye to eye. Means he’s not scoping out a trick. I know he wants me. Plus, he bends his knees, our dicks grind… Fuck…

He’s behind me tonight, but can’t stop touching me, even more than usual. And he’s making me touch myself. His hands over mine, gliding over my skin, damp and hot. Down my stomach… inside my…

Together, we touch…

“Justin.”

I don’t need to see his eyes.